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I feel white flash along my ridges, followed by a splash of black and on its heels, a wave of green — surprise, bloodlust, amusement — before finally my ridges settle on a fierce orange pride.
White and then black, green and then yellow are the colors of my ridges once more. This combination of my emotions will know her well. She pleases me to no end. Even as she strikes.
Claiming her when this sensation of wrongness hangs so heavy between us I can scarcely breathe its cloying air, would ruin everything. Pressing my weight down onto her, she tenses even more, but this cannot be helped. Ice crystals form on her skin. I need to warm her. I need to remove her from this. But the Run has not been completed. My Xiveri mate remains unclaimed. This is not the way things are done on Nobu. This is not tradition. A flash of irritation. A thimble of shame. Tradition is not worth keeping if it causes pain.
“I cover your flesh with my flesh. I cover your heart with my hearts. With this union, you are claimed. To serve as Voraxia’s Va’Rakukanna. To serve as Nobu’s Xhea. To be my Xiveri mate. With this union, I am yours. To be your Okkari, to be your sword, to be the sire to our unborn kits, but to be your servant above all else.”
I pull her against me and onto my lap and I clutch her to my chest so tight so that she might know that she is a part of it and I would no sooner strike her than I would my own flesh.
“I don’t hate you.” Startled, I have no answer for her. She blinks up at me. “I hate me.”
These beings aren’t like the Drakesh. They aren’t even like the humans. Humans are mean, nasty little things. And since I’ve been made by humans, and reshaped by the Drakesh, what does that make me?
He’ll fight for me then too? I close my eyes and nod, trying not to think about how Kuaku lied to me and it was because of that lie that I ran off. I could have just talked to him. Been honest and open. Asked him to talk to Svera and Miari. Then all of this horribleness would have been avoided.
White for surprise. Red for rage. Yellow for shame. Grey for grief. Blue for happiness. Purple for desire…
No one said I’m not allowed to go back…why do I keep saying if?
“Kiki, will you let me woo you?”
“I fail to distinguish a date from a date date, however the intercultural guide to human and Voraxian interactions produced by Svera and her team of experts detail the act of this date in great depth. It is an act of courtship, usually initiated by the male. I am here to initiate such a courtship and ask you to participate in this date ritual with me.”
“Enough,” he says and there is so much in that one word that it hollows out my insides. I close my eyes. I follow his deep, even breath with my breath. “He cannot harm you. Nothing can.”
Before I can stop myself, I too bow to her.
“Because I will never fuck you. You are too precious for that. Tonight I will breed you and I will do it as Kinan for this is my slave name and I am nothing if not a slave to you.”
“You have broken my gaze. Now, my Xiveri, ready yourself for punishment.” “Please,” she says, her arms splayed to reveal her full, soft chest mounds.
“I’ll make you proud.” “You do every day,” he says, “Now bring me his plates. All of them.”
“You are Peixal, the worthless. And that is all you will ever be known as to me. And you can be sure that I will be the last soul alive who remembers you. I will never speak of you to anyone and when I die, you will be forgotten. It will be like you never even lived.”