Becoming Duchess Goldblatt

by Duchess Goldblatt

Just when you think you can’t expect less, you have to learn again to expect less.

Minor floods in Crooked Path tonight. Volunteers are redirecting storm flows with burlap bags weighted with unfulfilled expectations.

“We have to love other people regardless of their actions and without any hope of reward. Even our enemies deserve our grace.”

The moon closes every few weeks for routine maintenance and cleaning. What you see then is your memory of moonlight, in lieu of what’s gone.

In your dreams tonight, look over your shoulder to the person standing in the shadows. You will know me when the light bends my way.

All proceeds from the Duchess Goldblatt Warehouse Sale support the Crooked Path Cat Sanctuary & the Home for Aged and Unpleasant Ex-Husbands.

It took me a long time to realize that people think of Duchess as a friend, and that influences my thinking greatly. There are a number of people struggling who are following her, and I am always especially glad when I can tell that Duchess has given them a lift. People tell her privately that they’re alcoholics trying to get sober or stay sober, or their marriages are unhappy, or they have a child who’s terribly sick. I think talking to Duchess might be like whispering a little prayer into the wind. You know, it’s safe.—DG

When someone you love dies, you lose them in pieces over time, but you also get them back in pieces: little fragments of memory come rushing back through what they cared about, what brought them joy. If you’re lucky, you get little pieces back for the rest of your life.

Don’t let anyone shame you for your love of an imaginary friend. Religions have been founded on less.

He wanted me to do what he had always done: love the people we had been given, and not just my brother, but the rest of the family of origin. Love them with no hope of reward, recognize that they are inherently worthy of love, accept that they’re ours whether we like it or not; love them for whatever they are, forgive them for whatever they are not. Keep them alive. Keep them going.

Duchess is such a unifying force of nature. That’s your book, as I’m sure you’ve already considered: how we can all be connected, how we all are connected by the most basic and most powerful of all, love, and the acceptance that comes with it.

I keep a silver bowl full of emails by the front door. Anyone who tries to pop in for a visit has to take a bag of them for the ride home.

They’re razing Crooked Path’s Möbius strip mall today. Delicate job. The place has no exits. We haven’t been sure who’s inside. Or outside.

as she was the oldest girl, it fell to her to make sure the younger children were taken care of. In our tradition, a girl is a gift to the family; it’s her job to see that everyone’s all right.

Choices are a luxury. We forget that sometimes, don’t we? Not everybody gets to have choices. If you have the education, wits, and leisure time to pursue your own interests, you have it better than 99% of the people who ever lived.

you will perhaps agree with me that there are really only about five different names in the world. Put a couple of consonants and vowels together, that’s it, that’s every name. I can’t be expected to remember which random combination of consonants and vowels matches which unique and inherently divine everlasting soul.

How to handle disappointment and the crushing weight of a broken world?—E The world is broken, but you are not broken. Things may not be okay, but you’re okay, and you will be. I promise.

Should an honest admission of guilt be enough to begin redemption?—O It’s a start, if the admission includes a spirit of contrition: I fully acknowledge and regret the suffering I’ve caused.

When we rely on self-deprecating humor, we’re trying to neutralize criticism preemptively, and there are echoes of ancient superstitions. I will deny my own gifts so that the gods don’t punish me and take them away. Duchess goes the other direction. Her old heart is broken and in tatters, but the world is beautiful and she loves it. She makes herself as large as possible. She reminds people that they’re better than they give themselves credit for, that their creative efforts matter, that they have a responsibility to extend themselves on the side of righteousness and do their best work. It’s part of the reason that she holds herself up as an example of physical beauty. If Duchess Goldblatt announces herself as beautiful, how can you not also acknowledge your own beauty?

If you’ve ever wondered what the right thing is to say to someone who’s grieving a death, I think this is it: Tell me all about your dear one. Sometimes I think of something so funny that I break out laughing by myself, and it’s then that I know you’re with me.