In the Shadow of the Valley: A Memoir

by Bobi Conn

I had faith that the father I loved would someday see himself as the good man I wanted him to be. I told myself it was only a matter of time, just around the corner. But those fairy tales don’t end when you turn eighteen. You become a woman looking for another man who just needs your love, your devotion, your endless forgiveness.

Why have I spent so much time trying to understand my father? Maybe it’s a daughter’s need. I know I always wished I could be daddy’s little girl. It’s hard to believe he turned out like he did

It turns out that putting someone back together is much more difficult than keeping them whole in the first place.

I think of my little-girl self, who is surely still inside me, and know I could tell her that she is good and that everything is going to be okay. I would tell her there are angels and spirits who have loved her since before she was born,

I would tell her that everything she longs for is also looking for her, yearning to be found.