From Blood and Ash (Blood and Ash, #1)

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

As the Maiden, the Chosen, a veil usually covered my face and hair at all times, all except for my lips and jaw.

He would become one of them. A Craven. Driven by an insatiable hunger for blood, he would slaughter everyone in sight. And if anyone were to survive his attack, they would eventually become just like him. Well, not everyone. I hadn’t.

Even though the majority of Atlantians had been hunted into extinction, many still existed, and there only needed to be one Atlantian alive for there to be a dozen Craven, if not more. They weren’t completely mindless. They could be controlled, but only by the Dark One.

“I just…I just wanted to say goodbye.” He shuddered. “That was all.” “I understand,” I told him, even though I wished he hadn’t returned here, but I didn’t have to agree with his actions to understand them. His pain was starting to return, rising in sharp pulses and then ebbing. “Are you ready, Marlowe?”

ok so i have nevef cried this early in a book before

“I think it was an Atlantian.”

“They are quite beautiful,” Rylan commented. “They remind me—” His words ended in a strangled grunt. Eyes flying open, I spun around, and a scream of horror knotted in my throat as Rylan staggered backward, an arrow protruding from his chest. A look of disbelief marked his features as he lifted his chin. “Run,” he gasped, blood trickling from the corner of his lips. “Run.”

From Blood and Ash We Shall Rise.

“With my sword and with my life, I vow to keep you safe, Penellaphe,” he spoke, voice deep and smooth, reminding me of rich, decadent chocolate. “From this moment until the last moment, I am yours.”

He’d said my name when he took his vow as my guard. Not what I was but who I was, and that was… That wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. With my sword and with my life, I vow to keep you safe, Maiden, the Chosen. From this moment, until the last moment, I am yours.

“I don’t think you do.” His tone hardened. “You were Chosen at birth, Penellaphe. Only one other has ever been Chosen by the gods. It was why the Dark One sent the Craven after your family. It was why your parents were slaughtered.”

They poured out of the mist, the source of my nightmares, the creatures sent by the Dark One over a decade ago to rob my brother and me of our parents in a blood-soaked massacre. They were the evil ones who’d nearly killed me before my sixth birthday, clawing and biting in a frenzy of bloodlust. The Craven were here.

“You are…” His stare was intense and unblinking as he sheathed his sword at his side. “You’re absolutely magnificent. Beautiful.”

“You’re an absolutely stunning, murderous little creature.” Pausing, he glanced down. “Nice weapon. Bloodstone and wolven bone. Very interesting…” His gaze flicked up. “Princess.”

“You have nothing to say to that?” He paused, and his voice was barely above a whisper when he said, “Penellaphe?”

“In the end, her worthiness didn’t matter.” Duchess Teerman lifted her fingers. The chair was warped, splintered. “Her actions put her on a path that ended with her death. The Dark One killed her.”

“Poppy,” he wheezed. “Look at me.” Opening my eyes, I shuddered at what I saw. Blood darkened the corners of his too pale lips. “I’m sorry, for…not…protecting you.” His face blurred as I stared at him. The blood wasn’t pouring from the wound as freely now. “You have protected me. You still will.” “I…didn’t.” His gaze trekked over my shoulder to where Lord Mazeen stood. “I…failed you…as a man. Forgive me.” “There’s nothing to forgive you for,” I cried. “You’ve done nothing wrong.” His dulling eyes fixed on me. “Please.” “I forgive you.” I rocked forward, dropping my forehead to his. “I forgive you. I do. I forgive you.” Vikter shuddered.

i was not prepared to cry

“Please don’t,” I whispered. “Please don’t leave me. Please. I can’t…I can’t do this without you. Please.” His hand slipped from mine.

I failed you. The Lord stumbled back against the chair, his lips peeling back as a different sound came from them, one that sounded like the wind when the mist came in. Spinning the sword, I swept it in a wide arc. This sword—Vikter’s sword—found its target. Forgive me. I sliced Lord Brandole Mazeen’s head from his shoulders.

OMG

A flash of light exploded behind my eyes, and oblivion reached for me. I fell into nothingness.

I had this weird impression that I hadn’t been alone while I slept. There was a sensation of callused palms against my cheek, fingers brushing hair back from my face. I had the faintest memory of Hawke talking to me, whispering when the room was filled with sunlight and when it had been taken over by night. Even now, I could feel the touch against my face, my hair. It had been the only grounding connection I’d had while I slept.

It wasn’t like I thought that what we were or what we meant to one another had grown to a place where Hawke would go into exile with me. That was silly. That was… That sounded like the kind of epic love my mother had felt for my father.

I wanted to believe that Vikter’s wife and their child had been waiting for him.

I had known the moment I asked him to stay. I knew what the consequences could be. I knew what I was, and what was expected of me, and I knew I could no longer be that. It wasn’t what I wanted in life. It had never been my choice. But this…this I wanted. Hawke was who I wanted. This was my choice.

Because those marks on my legs weren’t from claws but from fangs that had ripped into my skin. I’d been bitten that night. But I was not cursed.

The sound that came from Kieran as he stumbled back raised every single hair on my body. I froze. It started out as a low rumble that was not even remotely a sound a mortal should make. I’d heard it before—the night Rylan had been killed in the Queen’s Garden. The Descenter had made that same sound.

I couldn’t even scream as my stomach roiled. Hawke had fired the bow. I hadn’t even seen him do it, but he had. The bolt had gone through Phillips’ mouth and through the pole, pinning him there.

I drew back, my chest rising and falling. Something had to be wrong with my gift. Only the Ascended lacked emotions. Not mortals. Not Hawke. But it was like the connection had hit a brick wall as thick as the Rise.

“Please tell me I can kill her,” Jericho said. “I know exactly what pieces I want to cut up and send back.” “Touch her, and you’ll lose more than a hand this time.” The coldness in Hawke’s tone chilled me to my very soul. “We need her.” His gaze never left me. “Alive.”

“I knew he was going to create an opening,” Hawke answered, drawing my gaze back to him. “For you…to become my personal Royal Guard?” “I needed to get close to you.” I sucked in a shuddering breath as my heart seemed to split open. “Well, you succeeded at that, didn’t you?” That muscle in his jaw flexed again. “What you’re thinking…you could not be further from the truth.”

MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR

The backs of my eyes burned, along with my throat and chest. “Did you even work in the capital?” Then something hit me as my gaze darted to Kieran. “The night at the…” I couldn’t bring myself to say “the Red Pearl.” “You knew who I was from the beginning.” “I was watching you as long as you were watching me,” he said softly. “Even longer.”

OMG WHATTTTTT

He wasn’t just any Descenter following the Dark One. “That’s why you never really smiled,” I whispered.

WHAAAAAAATTTTTTTT

“No one touches her.” Hawke scanned the group in the yard, silencing them. “No one,” he repeated as he turned back. “No one but me.”

im screaming crying and puking

Lifting trembling hands to my face, I tucked back the hair that had escaped my braid. Why did he have to go so far, though? Why did he have to get under my skin and into my heart? I didn’t just trust him. I’d given myself to him. All of me. And it had been a lie.

girl im crying with you

I stopped, staring down at my hands. He was going to return me to the very people he claimed abused him. How horrible was that?

NO FRL IM SO MAD

Drink? My gaze dropped to his wrist. He couldn’t mean… “Casteel, do you—” Kieran’s voice interrupted. Casteel?

WHATTTTTTTTT

The pain…the pain was mine. He hadn’t saved me because he cared for me. He hadn’t promised that no more harm would come to me because he cared for me. How did I keep forgetting this?

crying puking pt 2

But he also took my heart. And made me fall in love with the Dark One.

Slowly, I lifted my gaze to his. His amber-colored eyes widened in surprise as he held my gaze for a moment and then looked down. To where the dagger protruded from his chest. From his heart.

i agree but i also am devistated

“No. I lied to you. I betrayed you and played a role in the deaths of people you love,” he said, listing the reasons as if it were a shopping list. “I’m surprised that was the first time you tried.” I continued to stare.

me 2 girl

I was in love with him.

“It is the only place we can go,” he replied, those golden eyes remaining fixed on me. “Did you know that an Atlantian can only marry if both halves are standing in the soil of their land? It’s the only way for them to become whole.”

Casteel Da’Neer, the Prince of Atlantia, smiled fully as he lifted our joined hands and said, “We go home to marry, my Princess.”

what do i feel?? he lowkey manipulated her?? but he also loves her??