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“You’re as brave as any guard on the Rise.” Taking that as a huge compliment, I smiled. “Well, thank you.” “And just as foolish as any new recruit.” My smile turned upside down. “I take my thank you back.”
Death is like an old friend who pays a visit, sometimes when it’s least expected and other times when you’re waiting for her.
“Watch your step. You trip and fall here, you’re likely to take me out on your way down.” I huffed. “I won’t trip.” “But you just did.” “That was a rarity.” “Well, then, I feel honored that I bore witness to it.”
“What is it you wish to talk about that couldn’t wait until the morning?” His gaze slid back to me. “You have beautiful hair.” I blinked. My hair was unbound, and without seeing it, I knew it was a mess of crimped waves. I resisted the urge to touch it. “Is that what you wanted to talk about?”
But it was getting late, and unsurprisingly, Hawke was the responsible one. He kissed the crown of my head, causing my heart to squeeze in a way that was so sweet, it was almost painful.
He dipped his chin. “It’s okay, you know?” “What is?” “Everything that you’re feeling,” he said. “And everything that you’re not.”
Some truths do nothing but destroy and decay what they do not obliterate. Truths do not always set one free. Only a fool who has spent their entire life being fed lies believes that.”
For the last twenty or so minutes, I’d tried to will myself asleep. Because if I were unconscious, I wouldn’t be so worried about turning into a chunk of ice.
I leaned back and whispered, “This is a little odd.” “I don’t think they get a lot of visitors,” Hawke answered, squeezing my waist, and my stupid heart jumped a little in my chest in response.
“Poppy?” I also liked the way he said my name. “Yes?” He touched my cheek with his fingers. “I hope you realize that no matter what anyone has ever told you, you are more worthy than anyone I’ve ever met.”
It wasn’t what I wanted in life. It had never been my choice. But this…this I wanted. Hawke was who I wanted. This was my choice. I was reclaiming my life, and it had started long before him.
Cheeks heating, I dragged my gaze away. “I…you’re perfect.” His expression tightened. “No, I’m not. You deserve someone who is, but I’m too much of a bastard to allow that.” I shook my head, unsure how he couldn’t see that he was deserving. “I disagree with everything you just said.”
“Promise me,” he said, seeming to not hear me as he lifted his head. His gaze snagged with mine. “Promise me you won’t forget this, Poppy. That no matter what happens tomorrow, the next day, next week, you won’t forget this—forget that this was real.” I couldn’t look away. “I promise. I won’t forget.”
I hadn’t believed Phillips at all because I believed Hawke. I trusted him—trusted him with my life, and with… There was a sudden pain in my chest that felt as if someone had shoved a dagger through me. I looked down because it felt too real, but there was no blade, no bloody wound that equaled the agony radiating through me. When I looked up, a muscle flexed in Hawke’s jaw.
“And he told you that you deserved it. That it was for your own good. But in reality, all it did was fulfill his sick need to inflict pain.”
“What do you think?” What I thought was that talking to Kieran was an exercise in patience and energy, two things I was running low on.
I loved him. I was in love with him.
