Themes and Variations

by David Sedaris

Give away fifty dollars of your own money, and the moment you tell someone about it, you’re an asshole. I mean, the one thing you’re really not allowed to bring up in this world is your generosity. Because the moment you do, it’s not generosity anymore—by bringing it to light, you’ve killed it. Plus it makes the people you tell feel ungenerous. And they wind up hating you.”