Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life

by Richard Carlson

We fail to recognize that the way we relate to our problems has a lot to do with how quickly and efficiently we solve them.

This “other way” of living involves replacing old habits of “reaction” with new habits of perspective.

When you “don’t sweat the small stuff,” your life won’t be perfect, but you will learn to accept what life has to offer with far less resistance.

the two rules of harmony. #1) Don’t sweat the small stuff, and #2) It’s all small stuff.

many people spend so much of their life energy “sweating the small stuff’ that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.

Whenever we are attached to having something a certain way, better than it already is, we are, almost by definition, engaged in a losing battle.

the very act of focusing on imperfection pulls us away from our goal of being kind and gentle. This strategy has nothing to do with ceasing to do your very best but with being overly attached and focused on what’s wrong with life.

The solution here is to catch yourself when you fall into your habit of insisting that things should be other than they are. Gently remind yourself that life is okay the way it is, right now. In the absence of your judgment, everything would be fine. As you begin to eliminate your need for perfection in all areas of your life, you’ll begin to discover the perfection in life itself.

Any success that you do have is despite your fear, not because of it.

A powerful technique for becoming more peaceful is to be aware of how quickly your negative and insecure thinking can spiral out of control.

notice what’s happening in your head before your thoughts have a chance to build any momentum. The sooner you catch yourself in the act of building your mental snowball, the easier it is to stop.

You may indeed be a very busy person, but remember that filling your head with thoughts of how overwhelmed you are only exacerbates the problem by making you feel even more stressed than you already do.

take the focus off yourself and to imagine what it’s like to be in someone else’s predicament, and simultaneously, to feel love for that person.

Intention simply means you remember to open your heart to others; you expand what and who matters, from yourself to other people.

Compassion develops your sense of gratitude by taking your attention off all the little things that most of us have learned to take too seriously.

Regardless of who you are or what you do, however, remember that nothing is more important than your own sense of happiness and inner peace and that of your loved ones. If you’re obsessed with getting everything done, you’ll never have a sense of well-being!

remind myself (frequently) that the purpose of life isn’t to get it all done but to enjoy each step along the way and live a life filled with love,

how can you really listen to what someone is saying when you are speaking for that person?

(before a conversation begins, if possible) to be patient and wait. Tell yourself to allow the other person to finish speaking before you take your turn.

cease needing all the attention directed toward yourself and instead allow others to have the glory.

The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response.

be able to surrender your need for attention and instead share

in the joy of someone else’s glory. Rather than jumping right in and saying, “Once I did the same thing” or “Guess what I did today,” bite your tongue and notice what happens. Just say, “That’s wonderful,” or “Please tell me more,” and leave it at that.

Ironically, when you surrender your need to hog the glory, the attention you used to need from other people is replaced by a quiet inner

confidence that is derived from letting others have it.

“Life is what’s happening while we’re busy making other plans.” When we’re busy making “other plans,” our children are busy growing up, the people we love are moving away and dying, our bodies are getting out of shape, and our dreams are slipping away. In short, we miss out on life.

Your job is to try to determine what the people in your life are trying to teach you. You’ll find that if you do this, you’ll be far less annoyed, bothered, and frustrated by the actions and imperfections of other people. You can actually get yourself in the habit of approaching life in this manner

Rather than feeling frustrated, ask yourself the question, “What is he trying to teach me?”

You may be surprised at how fun and easy this is. All you’re really doing is changing your perception from “Why are they doing this?” to “What are they trying to teach me?”

“Do I want to be ‘right’—or do I want to be happy?” Many times, the two are mutually exclusive!

defending our positions, takes an enormous amount of mental energy and often alienates us from the people in our lives.

Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart.

A wonderful, heartfelt strategy for becoming more peaceful and loving is to practice allowing others the joy of being right—give them the glory. Stop correcting. As hard as it may be to change this habit,

discover the joy of participating in and witnessing other people’s happiness, which is far more rewarding than a battle of egos.

Patience adds a dimension of ease and acceptance to your life. It’s essential for inner peace.

Becoming more patient involves opening your heart to the present moment,

in the bigger scheme of things, being late is “small stuff.”

see the innocence in her behavior rather than to focus on the potential implications of her interruption

I remind myself why she is coming to see me—because she loves me, not because she is conspiring to ruin my work.

if you look deeply enough, you can almost always see the innocence in other people as well as in potentially frustrating situations.

An effective way that I have found to deepen my own patience is to create actual practice periods—periods of time that I set up in my mind to practice the art of patience. Life itself becomes a classroom, and the curriculum is patience.

start with as little as five minutes

Start by saying to yourself, “Okay, for the next five minutes I won’t allow myself to be bothered b...

Your intention to be patient, especially if you know it’s only for a short while, immediatel...

Patience is one of those special qualities where succes...

Since I have young children at home, I have many possibilities to practice the art of patience.

As I keep my cool and don’t allow myself to be annoyed and upset, I can calmly, yet firmly, direct my children’s behavior far more effectively than when I get crazy.

Be the First One to Act Loving or Reach Out

As is usually the case when someone takes the chance and reaches out, everyone wins.

The way to be happy is to let go, and reach out. Let other people be right.