Don't Sweat the Small Stuff ... and it's all small stuff: Simple Ways to Keep the Little Things from Taking Over Your Life

by Richard Carlson

The next time someone tells you a story or shares an accomplishment with you, notice your tendency to say something about yourself in response. Although it’s a difficult habit to break, it’s not only enjoyable but actually peaceful to have the quiet confidence to be able to surrender your need for attention and instead share in the joy of someone else’s glory. Rather than jumping right in and saying, “Once I did the same thing” or “Guess what I did today,” bite your tongue and notice what happens. Just say, “That’s wonderful,” or “Please tell me more,” and leave it at that.

I have found that, if you look deeply enough, you can almost always see the innocence in other people as well as in potentially frustrating situations.

The first step in becoming a more peaceful person is to have the humility to admit that, in most cases, you’re creating your own emergencies. Life will usually go on if things don’t go according to plan. It’s helpful to keep reminding yourself and repeating the sentence, “Life isn’t an emergency.”

I’m not suggesting it’s better to be outgoing than introverted, that you need to expend tons of extra energy trying to brighten others’ days, or that you should pretend to be friendly. I am suggesting, however, that if you think of strangers as being a little more like you and treat them not only with kindness and respect but with smiles and eye contact as well, you’ll probably notice some pretty nice changes in yourself.

being interested in the way other people act is a way of replacing judgments with loving-kindness. When you are genuinely curious about the way someone reacts or the way they feel about something, it’s unlikely that you will also be annoyed.