From the Embers

by Aly Martinez

“Baby, sweetie, honey, look at the—” That was all I got out before time expired on us all. With a deafening boom, the entire house exploded.

She tore at my arms, kicking and flailing. “Let me go! I have to get them.” Her voice echoed off the trees, each reverberation slicing me to the core. “You can’t go in there!” I barked. “You won’t make it out.” “Then you go.” Her chest shook with broken exhales. “You did this. You did all of this. Now you go in there and get my husband and you fucking fix it.”

I swear the man could have convinced a mud puddle it was an ocean.

Of all the people, why did he have to survive? Why wasn’t it Rob? Why wasn’t it Jessica? Why…Eason?

well damn

My kids still had their mom because of him. I still had a chance to watch them grow up—graduations, weddings, grandkids. Because of Eason, I still had a future.

“Hurting?” he laughed. “Having my arms torn off would be hurting compared to the shit that is happening inside me right now. I can’t fucking close my eyes without those flames consuming me again. I can’t eat or sleep.” He lifted a trembling hand out in front of him. “I just fucking shake all the time, like my soul is trying to tear free from my body. And sometimes I wish it would, even if that meant I went with it.

“It’s okay to hate me for not being her.” “I don’t hate you. I’m just so fucking—” “Mad,” I finished for him, a tear sliding down my cheek. “Bitter. Terrified. Heartbroken. Lost. Confused.” He slanted his head, pained understanding crinkling his forehead. “Yeah. All of it.” “Me too.” A heart-wrenching sob I could no longer contain ravaged my body, but in the next beat, I was in his arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his strong arms wrapping around me. “I’m so fucking sorry. I wish I could have saved all of you.”

But I was willing to try if he was. “Please stay here with us,” I cried into his chest. “Just until you get on your feet. You can hate me and I’ll hate you, but we can do it together, okay?”

Having company in hell didn’t change the fact that you were still actually in hell.

I didn’t have any of Jessica’s clothes. Nothing to cling to on the darkest nights. Nothing to pass down to Luna. Short of the photos I’d recovered, nothing from our lives together had been salvageable after the fire.

Everyone who had ever crossed Rob’s path considered him a friend. But nobody had known him like I had. Nobody had failed him like I had, either.

But make no mistake about it, the agonizing guilt was still there, rotting the very core of my existence from the inside out. Just as I deserved.

“I don’t know, Eason. Nothing against you, it’s just, after everything…” Knife. Heart. Twist.

And the truth was, I didn’t ever actually hate Bree. I hated myself. For not being able to save Jessica or Rob. For not knowing about the gas leak. And a myriad of other things that factored into us being in the house that horrible night.

I understood the whole it takes a village concept, and when someone was in need, I was the first one to offer a helping hand. But being on the receiving end of that help was a slightly harder pill for me to swallow.

Eason hadn’t dropped everything and raced up to Prism that day when I needed him the most out of responsibility or duty. He was there because, whether I realized it or not, Rob had been right. Eason was one of the best.

aw :')

“Jessica had a rough life before you, and incredible talent aside, being a musician’s wife was never going to be easy. I wanted the easy for her. If I’d had my way, she’d have married an accountant.” He chuffed. “She would have been bored to tears. Though she would probably still be alive if she had.” It had been bad enough for me to think vile things of him right after the fire, but to hear him verbalize such a deprecating thought made my heart ache for him.

That man—always a hugger. He rocked us from side to side, more like he was trying to calm a crying baby than slow dance. “We got this, Bree. Me and you. We got this.” And for the first time since our world had exploded, I felt like maybe he was right.

It was exhausting to get home at three a.m. then get back up with the kids at seven, but each time I stepped onto a stage, no matter how small, it felt like I’d found another piece of myself again.

I hated the way Bree stared at the fireless pit as though she could see the flames. God knew I still could.

“It was in the storage part of the ottoman. Asher knew where it was.” “Awesome. Remind me to share your M&M’s with him in the morning.” She settled into her spot in the corner of the wicker sectional, glass of wine in hand. “Forget it. I already re-hid them.” “Inside the box of granola doesn’t count as hiding.” “Dammit,” she hissed, making me laugh.

this is so cute lol

As the intro faded in, the DJ kept talking. “Exclusive WQXX piece of trivia for you. A little birdie informed me today that this song was penned by one of Atlanta’s very own, Eason Maxwell.” My head popped up. “If this one is anything to go by, he might be a name to keep an eye out for.” No sooner than he finished the last syllable did Levee and Henry’s sultry harmonies consume the summer air. They’d nailed the emotion of the song, and if I was being honest, it was a perfect fit for their voices. But that wasn’t why my mouth hung open. I swung my gaze to Bree. “A little birdie?” She hid her massive grin behind her wine glass. Her long eyelashes batted against her blushing cheeks as she sang, “Chirp. Chirp.”

Her proximity suddenly felt suffocating, which was almost as confusing as it was intoxicating.

“I’m really proud of you,” she whispered. It was silly. I’d heard those words before. Friends, family, Rob. Hell, she’d already told me five minutes ago. Bree seriously wanted me to hear it, and coming from her—easily one of my biggest critics in the past—it meant the world.

Of all the men my brain could conjure for a sex dream, it picked Eason? At just the thought, a vision of him staring down at me as he worked me hard and fast, his cock stretching me in all the right ways, made heat bloom between my thighs again. Okay, shit. That was not how I was supposed to feel about my husband’s best friend. My dead husband’s best friend. My husband who had only been dead for a freaking year. My best friend’s husband. My dead best friend’s husband. Jesus, what a double slap in the face.

“Please God tell me this was an absolutely filthy dream about that fine hunk of man Eason Maxwell.” My mouth fell open at her brazenness—and also her alarmingly accurate guess. “Well…I mean.” “Oh, don’t worry, child. I’ve had so many dreams about that man. We should compare notes.” A laugh bubbled from my throat as I scolded, “Jillian!”

LOL

That’s not to mention her reaction when Madison and Asher plotted a sneak tickle attack on her. My job was to pin her arms above her head, just as it had been over a dozen times before. Her face had turned shades of red I didn’t know human flesh was capable of that day. She avoided me like the plague for the rest of the afternoon, only forgiving me when I snuck three red M&M’s into her napkin at dinner.

Inside, there was all the usual fare: pack of gum, sunglasses, service records, and proof of insurance, but it was a small black cell phone that caught my attention. Immediately, I picked it up and turned it in my fingers. Rob’s cell had been lost in the fire, so I assumed it must have been a work phone or an older model he’d upgraded. Either way, Bree would want it back, so I plugged it into the charger and moved on without thinking much of it.

oh no. was he cheating? :/

I can’t stop thinking about how deep you got last night.

damn. called it.

With my jaw clenched, I scrolled to the next message. Hell, maybe it wasn’t even Rob’s phone. Mr. Winters, promise me you’ll make time in your busy schedule to fuck me today. Shit. There went that theory.

But carved into my soul for all my days to come was the life-altering moment when a naked photo of my wife appeared on the screen.

WHAT NO

“The passcode is nineteen ninety-two.” Oh my God. What the actual fuck, Rob? Unable to hide it, I blanched. “Yeah,” Eason huffed. “I guess that van wasn’t the only thing he and I shared.”

My own pain stung, but my sympathy for Eason was the true slap across the face and it only made me hate Rob and Jessica that much more.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that, somehow, we were still smoldering in the ashes of that night, a hotspot yet to be discovered, growing brighter even a year after their deaths. And as I flipped the page to the next set of their messages, my lids almost as heavy as my heart, the embers of their betrayal suddenly ignited into a conflagration that would consume us all.

a producer I’d been dying to work with reached out to extend his condolences. He ended the call with, “This kind of heartbreak should make an incredible album for you. Hit me up when you’re ready to start recording.” I wanted to reach through the phone and snap his fucking neck.

wow fuck that guy

Chewing on her bottom lip, she stalled. “Eason…” “Say it,” I ordered. And then she dealt me the most devastating blow I would ever endure. “I think Luna might be Rob’s daughter.”

NO OMG WHAT

The betrayal burned like lava inside me too. My husband fathering a child with another woman. That woman being a wolf in disguise, posing as my best friend.

“That is my daughter. That little girl is my entire fucking reason for living, and you’re telling me she might not even be mine? It wasn’t bad enough that he was fucking my wife, but the son of a bitch took my baby from me too?”

“You’re all I have left, Bree. And dammit, you were his too.” As he straightened, I fisted a hand in the front of his shirt. “No, I wasn’t. You know it as well as I do. I was a fucking puppet in his show, and I’m done wearing the strings.”

his home screen was a picture of me sitting on the floor, Luna in my lap, Madison at my side. My mouth was open with laughter as Asher clung to my neck from behind. It had only been a week or so ago, and I remembered the day well. I’d just beaten Ash in a highly competitive game of Memory, and he had declared a dog pile on me for cheating. I had no idea Eason had taken the photo, much less programmed it to his home screen.

MY HEART

There were so many nights when everything hurt and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to breathe again. But there you were. With me every step of the way.” I tapped the screen again when it started to dim. “This picture, Bree. It’s not what we have to lose. It’s what I’ve already gained.”

“In my dreams, you said I wasn’t ready. But I’m ready, Eason. I’m so damn ready for you.” She’d had dreams. About me. Fucking fuck, I could have come from that thought alone.

“What about just your girlfriend?” I half teased. He slapped my hand so fast that it stung. After rolling onto my chest, he peered down at me with the most charming grin I’d ever seen. “That’s a fucking deal right there, Sug.” “Hey. You just agreed not to call me that anymore.” “Sorry. I’m trying to quit, but it’s not gonna be easy.” He playfully acted like he was going to bite my nose and instead pressed a small kiss to the tip when I flinched. “All that sweet of yours, you give me dia-bree-tus, but I’ll work on the girlfriend thing.”

dia-bree-tus T^T

“For now though,” Eason continued, “she’s my girlfriend. This means we’re getting to know each other and spending time together. But, Ash, if and when your mom and I ever do decide to get married, and even if we don’t, I’m here for you in every way you could possibly need me. But I’m never going to replace your dad, okay? You already have a pretty amazing dad. Him being in heaven doesn’t change that.” And that was the exact moment I fell all-the-way, head-over-heels, unapologetically in love with Eason Maxwell.

We’re going to take this slow and make sure you guys are comfortable with it. Man to man, I should have come to talk to you about things first. And I apologize for that. It’d mean a lot to me if you gave me your permission to date your mom.” Okay, seriously. How sweet could this man get? Maybe he was the real sugar in this relationship.

“You’re incredible.” “I don’t know about all that. I just committed us to not sleeping without pants all the time. I have regrets already.” “I’m serious, Eason. The way you handled that… It can’t be easy for you to talk about Rob after everything that’s happened, but what you just gave Asher… I can’t say thank you enough.”

“Like I said, you’re incredible.” He inched down the bed, bringing us eye to eye, a playful smile tipping his lips. “Good. Keep that in mind, because you know I’m totally getting them a cat, right?”

It’s not my place to have an opinion, but I think you’re making the right decision.” “What do you mean it’s not your place to have an opinion? Jesus, Bree. She might be your husband’s daughter. Are you ever going to be able to look at her and not see Rob and Jessica together?” Oh, my sweet Eason. His whole world was upside down, on the verge of falling off axis, and he was worried about me.

I’m terrified that, if we keep screaming into the past, the future is going to become nothing but an echo.”

“She’s yours.”