From the Embers

by Aly Martinez

“That’s me. Asleep in bed.” He moved his finger to her bra. “And that’s the lingerie I bought her, but she told me she was too tired for sex, so she never even put it on.”

Once I got settled in the guest room, I read every text at least a dozen times. Like a masochist, I zoomed in on every picture, memorized every detail. When I ran out of material, I called the head of Prism IT at five in the morning and requested a record of every text or call Rob had ever made from his work phone. I did the same with our personal cell phone provider as soon as their offices opened, but my search didn’t end there.

me

Then again, was there ever truly a convenient time to find out your dead husband had been in love with your dead best friend?

When was the first time? The first kiss? The first touch? Who initiated it? Who wanted it more? When was the last time? The Thursday before the fire? Did he cop a feel in the kitchen when I was setting up Pictionary? Was she hoping I’d get drunk enough to not hear her fucking him in the bathroom? How goddamn blind had I been not to have seen it?

He must have had a million hilarious and heartwarming images he could have used instead, but right then, his home screen was a picture of me sitting on the floor, Luna in my lap, Madison at my side. My mouth was open with laughter as Asher clung to my neck from behind. It had only been a week or so ago, and I remembered the day well. I’d just beaten Ash in a highly competitive game of Memory, and he had declared a dog pile on me for cheating. I had no idea Eason had taken the photo, much less programmed it to his home screen.

lol maam "programmed"?? lmao its not that hard

When it came to dealing with personal disasters, I had two speeds: obsession or turbo obsession. There wasn’t a lot in between.

I did not, however, feel guilty when her cheeks turned red as I belted the opening note of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On.”

ayy thats my guyyy

After the final note, I wasn’t quite done, so I played straight into Boyz II Men’s “I’ll Make Love to You” before shifting gears to a little Color Me Badd’s, “I Wanna Sex You Up.”

PERIOOODDDDDD- a man w good taste

“So the girls and I had a talk last night.” He flipped the page in his notebook to reveal a crayon rendering of three sad kids—both of the girls crying. Everything was dark, the sky gray and the grass brown. Eason leaned in close and threw his arm around Asher’s shoulders, the tips of his fingers grazing my arm. “What’s happening here?” he asked, the same concern filling my chest thick in his voice. “Well…” Asher blew out a hard breath. “This is a picture of me, Madison, and Luna now.” He turned the page. “And this is me, Madison, and Luna with a cat.” All three of them were smiling.

“But I can tell you that I will always be here for you in any and every way you need. I’ll be your best friend. Your biggest fan. The man who drives you crazy in both good and bad ways. I don’t care how you need me or even if you need me at all—I’ll still be here, considering myself the luckiest man on the planet as long as we do this life together.”