Kings of Quarantine (Brutal Boys of Everlake Prep, #1)

by Caroline Peckham

Characters could never escape me. Not when I could trap them in my kindle for the rest of time.

Hell, if the Grim Reaper turned up right now and pointed his gnarly bone finger in Saint’s face, that motherfucker would find himself impaled on the pointy end of his own scythe and we’d all have ourselves a new lord of death.

Saint sliced everything up on his plate like it had personally insulted his mother and bitch slapped his puppy across the room. Although, if I ever saw that guy with a puppy, I’d be calling animal services faster than a snow cone melting in hell.

But I guessed that was life. One moment you’re skipping along thinking everything’s just great, and the next thing you know you get sucker punched out of nowhere and everything you thought you could rely on is just gone. And what do you have left? Rage and outrage. Injustice and hopelessness. Nothing and everything. It’s all gone but there’s still so much here too. It’s just that none of it looks the same anymore.

I’d never realised that I was fated to be the king of toilet paper, but if that was my destiny in life then I’d happily sit up on my Charmin throne and lord it over everyone.

It occurred to me that Harry Potter had had it easy in comparison to the Lord Coldemort who was currently making my life a misery. At least Harry had had friends. And Dumbledore. Man, I wish I had a Dumbledore. I supposed Monroe kinda counted. He was like a hot Dumbledore you wanted to Slytherin to bed with and suck his Elder wand.