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For the next several minutes, I was lost in my head, but not so lost that I didn’t notice when the air in the room changed. It felt warmer. Like the heater had just kicked in.
How was it possible that he could both brand me and give me away all at once? It wasn’t the first time. How was I not used to it?
“Thank you for the painful reminder. I’m sure you’ll tell me he made you come, too. But you and I both know there’s more to sexual fulfillment than just having an orgasm, so unless you can tell me that he can make you sleep through the night, then let’s not talk about what Weston does for you in the bedroom.”
“Why do you do this to me?” I whispered. His lips hovered above mine. Dancing. Teasing. “Do what?” “Trap me like this.” “It makes me feel like I have you.” I ached at my core. “I don’t want you to feel like you have me.” “Are you sure of that?”
On top of everything else, there was a very real chance there was now a rumor about Donovan and me after having been caught in such an intimate situation. Thoughts of the potential gossip made me groan inwardly. Here I was, finally making strides with my career. I wasn’t ready to have it tainted by talk that I’d slept my way to my position.
“If you’re that worried about what a staff member might be saying about you, you’re probably engaging in behavior that you shouldn’t be engaging in.”
I brushed past Donovan as I left the room, letting my arm graze his, which sent sparks of electricity spinning through my body.
But no matter how nice the dizzying sensation was, it couldn’t erase the shock of seeing a flicker of pain in his eyes when he caught sight of my hand in Weston’s.
Before I could put my hand on the knob, however, Donovan appeared from the shadows. Grabbing my wrist, he pulled me several feet to the side of the entrance.
“This is familiar,” Donovan said, his voice a low rumble. “Leave me alone.” Once again, I made for the door. “He’s engaged.” I spun around. “It’s a fake engagement that you pushed him into.” “He’s a grown-up,” Donovan spat back. “He can make his own decisions.” “That’s right.” I nodded. “He can. And so can I.”
We were doing this then—flirting. Playing around. It was likely going nowhere considering Weston’s current situation, but that didn’t mean we couldn’t have a little fun if we kept it low-key. He probably needed it after weeks of being cooped up, so to say. I needed it to prove once and for all that he was exactly the kind of man I wanted to be with.
It was obviously intentional, and Donovan noticed so I shivered. On purpose.
I scowled. Elizabeth’s fondling of Donovan was irritating, even if she and Weston weren’t really a couple. No wonder he was having problems with her.
“I hadn’t planned to. But.” She turned and looked at the man next to her. “Donovan called and told me I needed to be here.”
It was strange to be so angry and so aroused, but that was how I was around Donovan—always excited and ready to go off in any way possible.
As if confirming my suspicions, Donovan narrowed his eyes, giving me what could only be called a warning glare.
It felt worse than I thought it would to wake up without him. I guess I hadn’t thought it would feel like anything, but it did. It felt hollow, like I’d forgotten to eat all day, yet my appetite was completely gone and the hollowness was both higher and lower than my stomach.
I wasn’t alone after all. Donovan sat in the chair in the corner of my room, his elbow propped on the armrest, his chin in hand, watching me.
I’d let a dangerous devil in my bed. A dangerous devil who’d once been my savior. Could Donovan be any more of an enigma?
“Sex with me isn’t always as easy as the other night, you realize.”
“Yes, yes. Don’t be an asshole, Donovan. I heard you.”
Goddammit. What was wrong with me? I was mad at this jerk, and he had the nerve to try to entice me to suck him off? In his office, no less? This was sexual harassment. This was inappropriate and indecent and such a fucking turn-on that I wouldn’t be surprised if Donovan could smell my arousal from a yard away.
“No, you came in here to tell me off. Which you did. More or less. Now we’re moving on. I’m helping you decide whether or not the other night was a one-time thing with another look at what it can be like to have sex with me.”
“So, like I said before—get on your knees. I’m not going to tell you again.”
I was a girl who knew what was good for me. Immediately, I fell to my knees.
Except this was what I wanted. All of it. The dubious consent, the dominant overtones. I wanted it with every fiber of my being, and if I was a big enough girl to know that about myself then maybe I could be a big enough girl to accept it too.
I inhaled, and my throat relaxed, and he slid in farther, deeper than I’d ever taken anyone into my mouth before.
It was intense. It was brutal. But I could feel his cock get thicker in my throat. I saw how wild he got when he pumped my mouth over him, and it only made me love it more. Made me want to please him more.
“I could have anyone’s mouth on me,” he said, his breaths short. “Any woman I want. Money can buy the prettiest lips, the most famous mouths, the deepest throats. And still, for ten years, all I can think about is your mouth. It’s only yours I want. Why can’t I get over your goddamn lips?”
“This doesn’t help me figure out where things are between us,” I whispered.
“It doesn’t help me either.” He sounded off-balance. Which threw me off-balance—more than I had been—because when had I ever seen Donovan unsteady before?
Then I pivoted and left, surprised I could walk as high as I was from the erotic scene. But even dazed and confused, there was one thing I did know—the next move was on him.
“You told Weston about us, and you shouldn’t have told him about us. You should never tell anyone about us because there is no us.”
I blinked back threatening tears. We hadn’t defined what we were, and I hadn’t made any assumptions about what kind of relationship we’d have. I’d never thought we would be more than lovers. But it stung to have that confirmed outright. Quite a lot more than I would ever have expected, for no reason I could figure out. Probably because he was so fucking condescending. Because he was so self-righteous. Because, despite not being what I’d even wanted, it was rejection.
He pinched harder, and something about the cold, intense way he stared into me as he delivered the pain made me feel it was more than an erotic gesture. It was a warning. Or a punishment. Or proof that this situation wasn’t as simple as he wanted to believe it was, and this was the outlet of his frustration.
“You’ve got quite the balls, Kincaid.”
I almost growled, and not in the sexy way, but in the I’m-going-to-kill-something-with-my-bare-hands way, especially if that something was named Donovan Kincaid.
Another thing that pissed me off? Donovan had been right—the fact that he was an asshole was irrelevant. I knew it from day one, and I was still drawn to him. I was drawn to him because of it, even. What did that say about me?
I’d almost forgotten entirely about the marks he’d made on me until later in the shower. I spent most of the time trying to scrub at the ink on my arm, when suddenly I remembered to look at what he’d written lower. I hadn’t thought much about it, assuming he’d written something else that had to do with Japanese culture. Now when I examined the marks, I saw they were actually English and they formed two letters—D K. Donovan had written his initials on my flesh.
The most dangerous part was how much I wished it meant he thought of me as his.
I shouldn’t even be having feelings about it in the first place. I was sure that was against the rules of his Just Sex policy.
Pretty sure that he wouldn’t respond unless I spoke his language, I attached the photo and pushed send.
I attached a picture of the bottle he’d told me to use as a dildo sometime when he’d fucked me in my apartment. I brought myself to orgasm three times before I was finished. Donovan never replied.
“Yeah, but that was just because Kincaid threatened my job if I
“He said that he was the one who had come on to you and that he had been out of place for doing so. Then he said you deserved to be respected for all your hard work, and he made it clear that spreading rumors about you would not be respectful. He suggested I get the rest of the team to support you if I wanted the department to continue running smoothly.”
“No. I promise. And you’re a great guy for asking. Just, like I said, Donovan and I have a complicated…” I searched for a word that wasn’t relationship. “Acquaintanceship, and I’m just not in the mood to deal with him tonight, so I’m going to slip out before he notices me.”
“Seriously, Sabrina. What were you thinking coming out here alone? If you wanted to get raped, you could have just called me.”
“You don’t get to tell me what to do.”
“I don’t know about that. I have a pair of panties in my nightstand that says otherwise.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re so angry. It’s making me need to fuck you.”
