“Oh, so we’re friends?” I ask. “Not if you refuse to help a guy out.” “Fine, fine,” I sigh. “I guess I can strangle you if you insist.” He lifts his head and scrunches his nose, and I’m caught unawares by how adorable it looks. “I don’t think that’s how I want to go.” “Oh, but a pizza cutter would be fine.” “I like the gore factor. I presume you’re not very skilled at murder, so it’d be a bloodbath. People would forever remember me as the slaughtered-pizza-place guy. They would come here and see the bloodstains on the floor, and I’d get a pizza named after me. I’d prefer Andy’s Assassination
...more
