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Bitterness is always a good fuck.
We could. We could also dress in pink tutus and sword fight, but we won’t.
“Are you sure you didn’t forget the lint from the dryer? I think we have a few centimeters left in the car
Eyes the color of my favorite blue Skittles
Theo after sugar is like driving on the autobahn.
You don’t come between a player and his game-day ritual. These guys
have a strict superstition that must be followed. If he requires passion fruit bubble gum, then passion fruit gum he will get.
plant a good-luck kiss to his dimpled cheek.
I’m a bastard. Especially on days that end in Y.
people like me—to bastards like me. People like me are angry motherfuckers. Sporadic and irrational are the founding traits of our personality.
Just because I haven’t asked her out yet, does not mean she’s
available. It’s an unwritten rule.
“But if you stroke them just right, they might lick your fingers and play with your balls.”
“Yeah, bro,” Thad adds, like he wants me to push him down the stairs. “Stay here and rest. I’ll look after Ans tonight.” Mom will miss him, but she’ll eventually move on, right?
Unless love is a metaphorical term for a condom, it doesn’t come into play during sex.”
Okay, so I’m still a little sensitive. Let’s blame it on my period. “Hurry up, McCallister, so I can hug your emotional ass.”
Sure, I said some mean shit and made her feel like an STD in a church choir,
Fighting with Anniston has a way of fraying my soul
the bad boy with the gooey center.
