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“What is it about you that I’m not scared of?” she whispered. “I don’t know, but I’m glad you’re not.”
“I can want all I want, but it doesn’t mean it’s mine to take.” Tears glossed over her eyes, and even the barest hint of what she’d gone through hit me like a freight train, almost knocking the wind out of me. “It doesn’t have to be awkward. I’ll sit there quietly but be there if you need me.”
It was exactly what I needed. Time alone to recollect my composure so I could hopefully form coherent sentences that didn’t start with let’s do it again, and ended with, please never leave my side.
“Hanna, I don’t do love, so we don’t have to worry about either of us falling into that trap. I like you. I like your friendship and talking to you. So, that’s all this is—a friend helping a friend.” She looked over my face, searching for any hidden meaning until finally, one side of her mouth tipped, and her shoulders relaxed. “Friends, eh? Like besties? Can I paint your nails?” “Dear God,” I groaned.
“Touching you is no hardship. I’m offering anything. My body is yours to do any-fucking-thing you want to it,” I said with a bow of my head. “Just ask for what you want. Claim your power to want it.”
“Daniel,” Hanna breathed. “Now. Please.” Until the day I died, I would never in my life forget the sound of Hanna asking me to touch her—no, demanding I touch her.
Her lips slowly tipped up, and something entered her eyes that had an invisible band tightening around my chest. One that had my nerves prickling. Nervous because she looked at me like I was the answer to all her fears—to her future. Nervous because I liked it.
Third base? I quickly scrambled through my high school memories of what the bases were. First was kissing, second was hands, third was… “You want me to do oral?”
“You deserve for this to be special.”
“Just tell me if I do it wrong.” “You’re doing amazing.” “I haven’t started,” I said with a laugh. “Still fucking perfect.”
“Good, baby?” he asked against my neck. Was I good?
“Nothing without your consent counts. This is your choice. This is the first time you are choosing to give your body to someone, and that is all that matters. Hanna, this is your first time.”
“Thank you.” Another kiss before resting his head against mine. “For you? Anything.”