Don't Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life

by Anne Bogel

A shift in our sense of identity—that is, a shift in how we fill in that blank—can cause massive changes in our behavior, almost instantly.

We won’t look for a solution if we don’t believe one exists.

Pick one thing you can do to begin to disrupt the cycle, even if it’s a very small thing.

In order to change our overthinking ways, we have to notice the ways we’re overthinking.

Gathering data and examining options are beneficial—but at a certain point, that hunt for information not only has diminishing returns but becomes actively unhelpful.

To extricate yourself from analysis paralysis, you don’t need more information. You need to act.

Perfectionism makes us critical, uptight, and generally not fun to be around. Plus, we’re more likely to overthink when we’re in a bad mood. There’s no need to be so hard on ourselves, because it doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.

It’s one thing to want to loosen the hold perfectionism has on you, but how do you actually do it? The remedy is to give yourself permission to fail—failure being defined as “anything short of absolute perfection”—and grace when you actually do.

When we establish the right habits—in our physical spaces, with our physical bodies—we can stop much overthinking before it starts, because the things that need to get done actually get done. We’ll never waste an hour frantically searching the house for something we should have taken care of long ago.

Open cycles consume mental energy, occupy brain space, and beg us to monitor them as “jobs in progress.” Our brains get anxious when too many cycles remain open, because it takes energy to maintain them. They register as clutter to our brains.

When it comes to overthinking, our physical bodies matter. Overthinking is not all in—or about—our headspace. Any plan to prevent excessive overthinking has to consider what’s happening in our bodies, because when we take care of our bodies, we take care of our brains as well.

When we’re facing two good options, we don’t need more time. We need to move on.

Our lives reflect what we persistently think about. Where we choose to place our attention directly affects the way we experience the world around us and the people we become.

With our thoughts, we make our worlds. This is why two people can experience the same thing in vastly different ways.

What we think directly influences what we feel; our thoughts and emotions cannot be separated.

The nature of our thoughts directly affects not only the content of our experience but also our quality of life. This isn’t value-neutral. When we feel good, we are kinder, more creative, more expansive in our thinking, more open to possibility, and just more pleasant to be around. When we focus on the negative, we not only feel bad but also make ourselves more and more the type of people who overthink, because negativity fuels the mental spin cycle.

Here’s the important thing: you get to choose what you think about!

while we can’t perfectly control what we feel and think, we have more power than we give ourselves credit for.

Because our thoughts drive our feelings, we can have a pretty good life and still feel miserable. Or, as Gallagher and countless others have discovered, we can face unpleasant circumstances and still experience peace and joy. It all depends on what we choose to focus on.

You need strategies to interrupt rumination when it happens, to eradicate negative thoughts and put a stop to the overthinking.

Pay attention to your thoughts,

Another way to look for the good is to practice gratitude. A regular gratitude practice does wonders for overthinking, because it takes your focus off yourself and directs it outward.

Rest assured that not every thought that flits through your head speaks to your underlying character.

It’s a mistake to give all your thoughts equal weight. Some thoughts do not deserve to be taken seriously, so don’t dignify them with a response.

If you schedule time every day to worry or overthink, your brain is less likely to nag you with those thoughts throughout the day.

Many things don’t feel so daunting once they are written down, because the act of writing forces us to clarify what’s actually happening and what we need to do about it.

While you can’t perfectly control what your mind dwells on, you have a great deal of freedom to choose your thoughts—and that control will grow stronger with practice as you establish new mental habits and neural pathways. Harnessing your thoughts is not easy, and it may take time to see results. But it’s possible, and it’s worth it.