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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Anne Bogel
Read between
October 7 - December 21, 2023
Be careful what you think, because your thoughts run your life. Proverbs 4:23
Taken together, the small choices anyone made added up to a life.
When we assume we can’t, it’s guaranteed we won’t.
your thoughts can be the enemy, or you can make them your ally.”
Every time we repeat a fearful or defeatist thought, we strengthen the connections that make it easier to have that thought again.”
To stop the cycle, we need to interrupt these thought patterns, and we can do that by taking a small step in the right direction.
instead of inspiring us to do good work, perfectionism makes us unhappy and prevents us from appreciating the good things in front of us.
give yourself permission to fail—failure being defined as “anything short of absolute perfection”—and grace when you actually do.
I’ve learned to say, “Let’s experiment,” because that phrase doesn’t make my insides clench up like the word failure does.
When I try an experiment, success is getting an outcome. Any outcome. The goal is to get results, not a win.
when we have a broader vision for our lives, many of the decisions we face become simple, because we have a reliable framework for making them. Because we made a single decision—that is, deciding on a big-picture value—we can see all other decisions as parts of a whole instead of as an endless string of isolated decisions.
they try to make decisions based on who they are and what they care about.
decisions made out of fear are not good decisions.
Don’t wallow, don’t wobble, move on.
What we pay attention to affects more than just our inner experience, because those thoughts don’t just stay in our heads. What we think directly influences what we feel;
When we nurture positive thoughts, we feel good; when we nurture negative thoughts, we feel bad. The nature of our thoughts directly affects not only the content of our experience but also our quality of life.
by proactively focusing on the good, you can avoid rumination altogether,
it’s important that couples learn how to notice and share—on purpose—the things they like and appreciate about each other, and to do so in intentional and consistent ways.
A regular gratitude practice does wonders for overthinking, because it takes your focus off yourself and directs it outward. Gratitude automatically directs your attention to the good stuff,
setting a reminder on your phone that prompts you to name something you’re grateful for.
You can’t control what happens in life, but you can control how you choose to interpret things. When I choose to look for a positive interpretation, I’m nurturing good thoughts instead of unhelpfully dwelling on bad ones.
The power comes from simply considering another point of view, because it forces your thoughts off the negative track they’re on.
Many things don’t feel so daunting once they are written down, because the act of writing forces us to clarify what’s actually happening and what we need to do about it.
You can take this a step further by writing down your negative thoughts, ripping up the paper, and throwing away the pieces.
“Giving people positive distractions from their overthinking for just eight minutes is remarkably effective in lifting their moods and breaking their cycle of repetitive thought.”
To change what’s happening in your mind, a change of scenery literally changes your perspective.
To get unstuck, get moving.
the purpose of routine is not to limit us but to clear away the mental clutter. “A solid routine fosters a well-worn groove for one’s mental energies and helps stave off the tyranny of moods,”
whenever the countless options feel overwhelming, I look for a way to quickly narrow my options.
A task that needs doing is not the same thing as a task that needs to be done by you.
We tend to forget that when we ask for help, the benefit is twofold. We may worry that we’re burdening our friends with our problems, but they want to be valuable too. Give people space to do what they do best, and besides, asking for help also gives you an excuse to see your friends a little more.
annual Modern Mrs Darcy Reading Challenge
When it’s clear a decision is needed to move forward, the worst thing we can do is not act. Making a choice—any choice—is better than staying stuck debating our options, letting the moment pass us by.
we can lean in, expecting good things.
When we have wiggle room in our schedules, we can choose to be there in the moments life presents us with.
Not being in survival mode means it’s not such a production to embrace spontaneity. This is the same reason we build in extra time in case someone gets the flu right before a big deadline, but it’s the fun version.
Consider that your routines and plans—when you build in margin—create space for spontaneity.
A routine is done for expediency.
Ritual is something we do with a higher purpose in mind.
That morning coffee is habitual (routine), but it can also be made meaningful (ritual)—and
What you choose to focus on matters. Your morning ritual sets the tone for the whole day,
Based on my readers’ responses, an effective midday reset should include a little bit of pleasure (like my coffee and reading), a little bit of prioritizing, and a little bit of perambulating (a number of readers swore by a quick walk or run or other time in the fresh air).
Elevate a simple meal or get-together to a ritual by signaling that you value it: set the table, light a candle, place some flowers at the center, or say a word of thanks for the time you’re spending with friends or
The next time you’re considering a splurge, ask yourself, What is that money really buying me? What do I hope to get out of this experience? How do I measure the return on my investment? Life is a series of experiences. Our splurges may not come cheap, but the memories are priceless.
I’m talking about the little things we enjoy but don’t necessarily need.
We can give ourselves permission to enjoy something that exceeds the minimum we need to get by. We can appreciate the good things right in front of us without feeling guilty about them. We can trade a scarcity mentality for an attitude of abundance.
“One of the secrets of a happy life is continuous small treats, and if some of these can be inexpensive and quickly procured so much the better.”
With each action you and I take, we vote for the kind of people we want to be and the kind of world we want to live in.
Daily Rituals: How Artists Work by Mason Currey
