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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Anne Bogel
Read between
January 15 - January 19, 2021
Every time we repeat a fearful or defeatist thought, we strengthen the connections that make it easier to have that thought again.” In other words, the more we overthink, the easier it is to keep overthinking.
When seeking a solution, highly intelligent people may see whole landscapes of possibilities that others don’t see—which may inadvertently lead them to make simple decisions needlessly complex.
These positive traits have an unintended consequence: they make us prone to analysis paralysis because they prod us to search for additional options, whether or not we need them.
Because of our overanalysis, we’ll be less satisfied with the outcome, even if we arrive at an objectively better one.
It’s one thing to value high standards, but there’s a difference between high standards and perfection.
I had done a good job. But as long as I insisted on comparing my good outcome to the ideal one in my head, I was going to make myself miserable. Perfectionism makes us critical, uptight, and generally not fun to be around.
I’ve learned to say, “Let’s experiment,” because that phrase doesn’t make my insides clench up like the word failure does. An experiment is neutral, dispassionate. There’s none of that paralyzing pressure to get it right.
Our values can guide decisions big and small, short-term and long-term.
Naming these values clarifies their objectives and keeps them out of the weeds of day-in and day-out decisions.
So when she’s deciding between multiple options, she chooses the option closest to home unless there is a persuasive reason not to.
That’s when I remembered what a mentor once told me: decisions made out of fear are not good decisions. I knew she was right. Staying home because I was afraid of the flight would have been disappointing for everyone and inconsistent with who I am and who I want to be.
By streamlining your spaces, you can streamline your thought process, and your brain won’t have to work so hard to tend to life’s details. The point is to maintain a level of organization that allows you to find your stuff when you need it.
Clutter, by definition, distracts us from what’s important and makes it harder to focus on the things that matter.
When we’re mentally rested and refreshed, it’s easier to keep our thoughts on track.
We need to remember that important doesn’t necessarily require slow every step of the way.
If we recognize that we’re debating between two good choices, we just need to choose one—because until we do, we keep the decision always in our mind, preventing us from moving on.
Sometimes I only pretend I don’t know what to do, because I don’t want to do it. (If you’ve ever spent twenty minutes lying awake in the middle of the night wondering if you should get out of bed to go to the bathroom, you know what I’m talking about.)
If we’re dreading something, we can serve ourselves well by dealing with it sooner rather than later. If we’re overthinking something we can actually do something about, the best thing we can do is speed up to move on. Take action as soon as possible.
If we’ve been overthinking for decades, we’ve effectively been blowing dandelion seeds all over our garden, then fertilizing the weeds.
A regular gratitude practice does wonders for overthinking, because it takes your focus off yourself and directs it outward.
Many high performers in a variety of disciplines regularly eat the same thing every day to free up mental space.
“The truly well-organized women have worked out a sort of ‘uniform’ way of putting themselves together attractively but efficiently.”
That’s why, when facing decisions like these—ones I’ve never made before and may never make again—I’ve decided in advance to proactively limit my options. One of my preferred ways to do that is by limiting myself to just one source.
Just pick something, anything. It’s better than doing nothing, and besides, things that don’t unfold according to plan often make the best memories.
When we build in margin, we’re not just preparing for things to go wrong. We’re also preparing for things to go unexpectedly right.
To remind everyone of the purpose behind the trip, they gave it a name: the Winter Escape Trip. This simple act made the trip feel more purposeful and important.
A ritual unites the rhythm of routine with focused attention—a powerful combination for avoiding overthinking. It’s hard to overthink when we are focused on the moment. The ritual also forces us to slow down—and when we deliberately slow our bodies, we slow our minds as well.
When I think back on past splurges, I remember them not in terms of cost per minute but in terms of memories—and those indelible moments take up ample space in my mind.
Without a clear philosophy or system to guide us, we have to continually make decisions and justify them to ourselves.
