I have in my time deliberately tried to die, but I am still here, and life has always won on its own terms, so I stopped trying to make the choice for myself. It seemed that it was not my decision to make, and I began allowing life to happen. It feels much better that way. I learned it from the birds, who just flew and nested and ate and made new birds, and the hedgehogs, who just shuffled and ate and made new hedgehogs, and they all died and went back to mud in their own good time.
