Instead we get angry when we believe we are victims of wrongdoing or when something that has happened to us is unfair. If we go on the attack, we often lose control and make the problem worse, since then the other party also feels threatened and attacks in turn. If we repress our rage, we can do ourselves harm. Whether we attack or repress, anger is almost always a destructive emotion, as the Buddha taught: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: You are the one who gets burned.” When we get mad, it’s almost always due to our
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