Apropos of Nothing

by Woody Allen

none will ever top her sizing up the crowd at a Hollywood party and referring to them as Schindler’s B-list.

I often told Elaine that her food would have been turned down by the lost party on the Donner Pass.

there was a major saving in carfare.

it wasn’t so traumatic that I felt I should quickly pack and go into the Witness Protection Program.

what could be more enjoyable than seeing a black-and-white film set in medieval Scandinavia dealing with the plague, death, and the emptiness of life?

as the screen faded to black, I thought it was so that we wouldn’t see them dye Easter eggs.

One only has to study the fundamentals of bankruptcy law to envision the box office potential.

considers me some kind of savant—I forget the full term.

Sartre said, “Hell is other people.” I would just like to change that to, “Hell is other people’s taste.”

If I died right now I couldn’t complain—and neither would a lot of other people.

I have always hated reality, but it’s the only place you can get good chicken wings.

I like making movies, but if I never made another one it would not bother me.

Rather than live on in the hearts and mind of the public, I prefer to live on in my apartment.