Apropos of Nothing

by Woody Allen

mystery on a par with dark matter. Two characters as mismatched as Hannah Arendt and Nathan Detroit, they disagreed on every single issue except Hitler and my report cards. And

right. And why should I fast for my sins? What were my sins? Kissing Barbara Westlake when I should’ve been hanging up my coat? Fobbing a plug nickel off on my grandpa? I say live with

Jean Arthur. Spencer Tracy always seemed so real except in Pat and Mike. I was never a great fan of Lenny Bruce’s, and my generation went nuts over him. I didn’t for a second think I was a better comic, not by a long shot. I have a very critical opinion of my own stand-up comedy but I’m not talking about that phase of my life yet. I’m just pointing out a few icons that surprisingly didn’t mean as much to me as to the general public. Like Some Like It Hot or Bringing Up Baby—to me, neither was funny. Nor do I like It’s a Wonderful Life. Frankly, would love to strangle the cutesy guardian angel. Could never buy into An Affair to Remember. Adored Hitchcock but can’t see Vertigo no how. Crazy about Lubitsch but never found To Be or Not to Be funny. Trouble in

comic genius by any means. But who cares what I think—it’s taste. You may find those willowy lingerie models beautiful and sexy and I may not. Except I do and there’s nothing I can do about it. So much for taste.

by Bierce and Lovecraft, and the new idol of the black-clothes, silver-earring set. Brother Theodore, as he billed himself, had dramatic flair and held audiences spellbound. Years later I cast him in my first hapless play Don’t Drink the Water, but David Merrick had to fire him because he had no craft and could not hold a performance from one night

trouble when, in one philosophical discussion, Harlene proved I didn’t exist. I had a great success at Tamiment

When he died, I was asked for a comment and I said, “He was one of the only people in my life who lived up to the hype.” He was a fabulous guy and a truly great comedy writer;

grindstone. Don’t look up. Work. Enjoy the work. If you don’t enjoy the work, change occupations. Don’t be outer directed. You know what you think is funny or what goals you are striving for. That’s all you need to know. You have a vision, try to execute it. Simple as that. Judge it yourself. You know if you’ve