The Art of Taking It Easy: How to Cope with Bears, Traffic, and the Rest of Life's Stressors

by Brian King

Ultimately overcoming stress and managing its impact on our lives depends on this basic realization: most of our stress is from percieved threats, not clear and present threats.

Learn to assess your stress. Learn to tell the difference between bears and traffic. The first thing we should do when we start to feel agitated or stressed is stop and ask ourselves, “Is this situation actually threatening?”

And that’s the thing about worrying, it does nothing to prevent bad things from happening. Worrying does not affect the outcome of a situation, it doesn’t make adverse events less likely to occur, it just makes our life less great.

Imagine that, for whatever reason, you have gone through life training your brain to overreact to adverse situations. Or, maybe you have taught yourself to worry unnecessarily or ruminate on negative thoughts. Maybe your brain has learned to make you lay on the horn whenever you find yourself in traffic. The nice thing about neuroplasticity research is that it shows that whatever behavior you wish to change about yourself, you have the capacity to do so. This is why therapy works.

Change is really hard, and I suspect this is one reason why we thought the adult brain lacked the ability to do so. We are notoriously inept when it comes to changing our behavior. Our brain gets used to the tried-and-true behaviors that served us well in the past, and is often resistant to putting forth the effort to acquire new ones. This is why we need therapy.

Resilient people approach life by thinking and planning; they see their problems or adverse events as temporary and/or solvable.

If we want our children to grow up ready and equipped with the tools for life (and what parent wouldn’t), we have to model good problem-solving, as well as healthy coping techniques, like taking time out for ourselves, participating in hobbies, exercise, and socializing. It is important for them to observe us setting boundaries, being flexible, managing expectations of others, and challenging ourselves. You know, all of the things that make us healthy.

Three ways positive thinking can help you become more stress resilient are: Teaching you to become more optimistic. Teaching you to be more appreciative of what you have. Increasing your appreciation of humor.