The Art of Taking It Easy: How to Cope with Bears, Traffic, and the Rest of Life's Stressors

by Brian King

If we wish to improve our stress management, we should also develop our problem-solving skills. Problem-solving skills can be improved by mastering any challenge that requires strategizing.

Imagine what would happen to an individual’s ability to solve problems if every time they encountered some difficulty, somebody else swooped in and solved their problem for them. Without opportunities to practice problem-solving, they would likely grow up deficient in that regard. Or imagine what would happen if they were consistently shielded from adverse situations and never encountered any problems to solve. Although fortunate, I suppose, they too would likely grow up with a deficiency in problem-solving skills. Nobody wants their kids to suffer or experience pain, but there is value in working through difficulties. There is value in having to deal with adversity. Stepping in or shielding our children may help keep them out of harm’s way, but it could have long-term consequences.

The best way to teach a child how to handle stress is to model resilient behaviors in their presence and try to keep our worry or anger to ourselves. Allow children an opportunity to solve their own problems. Provide assistance and support, but give them a chance to attempt things on their own, and the opportunity to fail.

The key to making some pretty significant changes in our lives is to adjust the way we think. We tend to think that our lives, our problems and issues, are extremely complicated and overcoming them requires a complicated solution. Making changes can be simple, it just isn’t easy.

Teaching you to become more optimistic. Teaching you to be more appreciative of what you have. Increasing your appreciation of humor.

When we encounter a stimulus, for example a piece of information, we can react to it by putting a positive spin on it, or we can worry about it. Worrying is a form of pessimistic thinking.

The most optimistic people among us are still plagued by negative thoughts, the difference is that they don’t dwell on them or ruminate.

imagine the future, only this time imagine that everything has worked out for you exactly as you want it. What does that look like? Be as descriptive as possible. Now write that down in a journal and repeat this exercise again next week, focusing on a different aspect of your life

Structured journaling exercises can help us learn to be more optimistic, which in turn can help us manage stress.

Writing in a journal is not going to make you immediately optimistic, but practicing positive thinking on a regular basis will have an impact on your thinking.

One behavior that happier people engage in more often than less happy people is expressing positive emotions.

the practice of gratitude journaling. There are different formats, but I prefer the simple act of ending each day by listing three or more things that I am grateful for about that day.

Some people write three things they are thankful for, others prefer to count their blessings each day,

All of us, regardless of our circumstances, can find three things to be grateful for each day. Even on the absolute worse days, there are things to appreciate. In fact, it is on those days that this exercise might help us the most, reminding us that despite all the crap we dealt with, there is still good in our lives.

One thing that is important about the exercise is that it is focused on the current day. If you just list three things you are grateful for in general, then every day you will have the same list.

Verbally expressing positive emotions, such as love or gratitude, to others can make us happier and in turn help us manage stress. Keeping a gratitude journal, specifically listing three things we appreciate about each day, can also make us happier.

humor is our brain’s ability to recognize a potentially threatening stimulus as amusing or nonthreatening. It involves initially perceiving the stimulus one way, and then immediately reinterpreting it as something else.

Having a sense of humor means being able to understand things in multiple ways, and this is incredibly helpful in overcoming stress. As I have mentioned, inner areas of our brain may misinterpret a stimulus as a potential threat, thereby engaging our stress response, but our prefrontal cortex has the ability to override this system by thinking differently.

humor also has the nice benefit of inspiring us to laugh.

Stress is our brain’s reaction to threat and it gets us ready for some sort of action. When we stress, cortisol flows through our body, resulting in all sorts of physiological changes. Problems arise when our body starts producing all this potential for action, and has no action to take. However, the physical act of laughing involves an enormous amount of activity across a bunch of different areas. From the electrical activity in the brain as you process the humor, to the facial muscles that make you smile and laugh, to the diaphragm that forces the lungs to inhale and exhale, to the arm and leg muscles that are engaged when you clap and stomp your feet, laughter inspires a tremendous chain of bodily activity. Laughter is a profound release of stress, which reduces cortisol and has the added bonus of making us feel good.

Joking is a great way to cope with a stressor or diminish the effect it has on us.

a lot of humor comes from negative experiences or dark thoughts.

Humor is a natural stress-management tool. Reevaluating a situation to make a joke can help reduce negative thinking. The physical act of laughing reduces stress and stress-related physiological conditions.

bad things happen to all of us and negative thoughts are unavoidable. It is perfectly natural to have negative thoughts pop into our head from time to time. In fact, our brain seems to be somewhat disposed to seek out negativity and hold onto it. Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as the “negativity bias.”77 Basically, if we encounter two stimuli, one positive and one negative, our brain is more likely to notice and be affected by the negative stimulus. It sucks, but it’s how our brain is wired.

pervasive negative thinking is ultimately going to interfere with our ability to handle stress, so we should try to do what we can to reduce it before it becomes problematic.

“decatastrophization.”

“What’s the worst thing that could happen?” and “What are the chances that will happen?” It is a great way to put things into perspective and reduce negative thinking.

What if the worst thing that could happen has already happened?

employ another frequent refrain from my internal dialogue: It’s not the end of the world. Sometimes the worst thing does happen, but knowing that the worst is behind you means that your situation can only stay the course or improve. It can’t get any worse than the worst-case scenario; that is kind of part of the definition. By imagining the worst-case scenario, we put ourselves back in a position to return to optimistic thinking.

we have a natural tendency to focus on negative possibilities and outcomes, and take measures to counter this when it becomes problematic. Changing the course of our train of thought and putting things into perspective can help suppress undesirable negative thoughts.

We have a tendency to focus on negativity; we can reduce this by redirecting our thoughts or putting things into perspective.

controlling your breathing really does help reduce the effects of stress. Breathing is unlike a lot of bodily functions. It is normally involuntary, meaning that you will breathe regardless of whether you want to or not and often without thinking about it. However, it can be voluntarily controlled.

when we become stressed, we activate our sympathetic nervous system to get our body ready for action; this includes breathing faster. When we purposely slow down our breathing, it in turn triggers the parasympathetic nervous system to calm us down, and as that system kicks in, the other physiological changes brought on by stress are reduced. Deep breathing is universally recognized as an excellent calming tool, and is a major part of meditation practices. You have heard of it before because it works.

Physical activity, any physical activity, is going to help get your body to calm down pretty quickly.

it is a great way to burn off that cortisol buildup.

smile, even if you have to force it.

smiling and laughing make us happy. Remember, the brain interprets physiological cues from the body to determine its emotional state. There are a few studies that show we can elevate our mood by tricking our brain into thinking it is smiling.

the more we smile, the happier we become. Are you familiar with the phrase “Fake it until you make it”? In this context, it is absolutely true.

Deep breathing Physical exercise Force a smile

money does not buy lasting happiness, but living with money in the bank and with minimal debt is a great way to reduce stress. Without all that pesky stress getting in the way, you are free to pursue the things that actually bring about happiness.

Money, and related issues, are some of the biggest sources of stress. Saving and living with minimal debt can be a tremendous help to alleviating stress.

a lot of life is about challenges and whether or not we successfully overcome them.

Traveling outside of the comfort zone of home brings a lot of opportunities to problem solve

even if it is just a short vacation.

When you are on vacation, you become willing to try things you have never done before and are much more open to new experiences.

Challenging our mind with new experiences keeps us healthy. Vacations, and the mind-set they inspire, help deal with burnout.

you may not even have to leave your town. Just leave your comfort zone.