Jamie Bryant

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However, a real unicorn will kill you! It has a horn on its head! What do you think that horn is for? That’s a weapon for stabbing! It didn’t grow that thing so little girls could play ring toss! That unicorn will stab you, stomp all over your body, and shoot rainbows out its butt just to add insult to injury.
The Art of Taking It Easy: How to Cope with Bears, Traffic, and the Rest of Life's Stressors
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