The Art of Taking It Easy: How to Cope with Bears, Traffic, and the Rest of Life's Stressors

by Brian King

Bad things happen all the time, but what ultimately makes the difference in our lives is how we deal with those situations.

The simplest description I have ever come across is that stress is our brain’s reaction to a perception of threat.

That traffic was not a threat to you. The cars on that road were not out to get you or attack you in any way. At no point that morning did hundreds of random strangers organize for a meeting and say, “OK, today we are going to make Judy late for work and drive her crazy at the same time! Here’s the plan: half of us are going to get in front of her and drive real slow. The other half are going to follow behind her and honk our horns. Now let’s do this!” As much as I’d like to see Judy taken down a peg, this did not happen. Also, there is no Judy.

Well, our brain creates these things called beliefs, values, and expectations, and they influence how we perceive the world.

The traffic was real, but it was your own beliefs, values, and expectations that made the situation into one that you found stressful.

Ultimately overcoming stress and managing its impact on our lives depends on this basic realization: most of our stress is from percieved threats, not clear and present threats.

Learn to assess your stress. Learn to tell the difference between bears and traffic. The first thing we should do when we start to feel agitated or stressed is stop and ask ourselves, “Is this situation actually threatening?” If it is, then Houston, we have a probl—uh I mean, bear!

Remember, stress is not our reaction to threat, it is our reaction to the perception of threat.

When stressed we should ask ourselves, is this an actual threat? If it is an actual threat, then can I do anything about it?

Hey, I better let this guy through. It sounds like he may be slightly late for work!

Something our brain does not instantly say.

Learning how to increase the right kind of prefrontal activity, or thoughts, and being able to consciously redirect choices made by other areas of the brain, is the key to living a less stressful existence.

And that’s the thing about worrying, it does nothing to prevent bad things from happening. Worrying does not affect the outcome of a situation, it doesn’t make adverse events less likely to occur, it just makes our life less great.

Worry is one way that the brain can generate its own activity. Yes, worry relieves boredom. And I believe this is why most worrying occurs.