No Prince

by Stevie J. Cole

His lips pressed to mine. He kissed me like I was oxygen and he was suffocating. It was so much more than a kiss; it felt like a promise, unbreakable and binding. His hands went to my hips, tugging me tight against him.

“Outta breath there?” I smirked at him. “You need to stop smoking so much.” ”Why? Worried?” I took the helmet from the handlebars of his bike before throwing a leg over it. “No.” “Liar.”

Zepp grabbed my waist and dragged me down the hall. I elbowed him in the ribs. “You’re a psycho, you know it?” “You make me one.” “Don’t blame me—” “You think a friend would get pissed off because they think you fucked somebody?” “I…” I didn’t have an answer for that. A smug smirk shaped his lips. “Guys aren’t just friends with girls, Roe. Accept that.” He kissed me before he walked off. He was wrong, though. Chase was just a friend.

“Wait, tell me you didn’t kill someone.” “Actually, I paid a hooker five bucks to call in.” He chucked his smoke to the ground. “Old Betty at the front office knows my voice.” It was quite sweet. For Zepp. His fingers swept over my cheek, dark eyes studying me as he tipped back my face. Warm lips brushed mine before he tossed an arm around my shoulder, and we started walking toward his bike. “God rest your Grandpa Joe’s soul.” He snorted a laugh.

I stared across the jam-packed yard, thinking about the fact that I used to come to parties for two things. Beer and girls. Now both seemed like a waste of time. I would have rather stayed at home with Monroe, but the guys would never have let me live that down.

She was a stripper and a virgin. How messed up was that, that we lived the kind of life where she was rubbing her tits in men’s faces and straddling their laps when she hadn’t even had sex. Something about that was downright tragic. Monroe James wasn’t at all what I had thought she was—what anyone thought she was. And she was so much better than I deserved.

“What if I sleep with him and that’s it?” I closed my eyes, voicing the one fear that held me back with Zepp. “What if the only reason he even wants me is that he can’t have me?” “You’re kidding, right?” She snorted. “God, Monroe. He looks at you like… I can’t even explain it.” She shook her head.

He studied me for a moment, his brow creasing before his tongue wet his lips. “Roe. I…” I could see the words playing out on his face, the same ones I almost wanted to say to him, but I wasn’t ready. To hear them or say them. “It’s okay, I trust you,” I said in a rush.

Never in my life had I wanted to be with a girl the way I had her. I couldn’t get enough of her; I couldn’t kiss her enough. She had made me a certified pussy, and I didn’t even care. And last night—that was a hell of a lot more than chasing a moment of bliss. I was pretty sure what I had with her was what most people spent an entire damn lifetime searching for.

I had never given a shit about a girl before, and somehow, this girl had managed to break me apart without even trying. Because I was pretty damn sure I was in love with her.

He gave me another kiss, his fingers digging into my waist. “God, you make me crazy.” My stupid heart tripped over itself. Then he pushed away, ducking into one of the classrooms.

I may have been with girls before Monroe, but none of them mattered. As far as I was concerned, she may as well have been my first.

I flopped onto my back, grabbed her, and pulled her against my chest. I wasn’t sure when this had become normal, but it was, and the thought that it could all end in a second, made my stomach knot. Before Monroe, all that had mattered were those moments of bliss, a quick high, a quick fuck, but now all that mattered was her. That was all that mattered, which meant I was screwed because I was undeniably in love with her.

Her eyes narrowed for a moment. Her teeth bit into her lower lip. “You’re still thinking about it.” I squeezed her tighter. Somehow, in the matter of a month, she had become everything to me, and I had no idea how I was supposed to let that go.

I found myself more than happy with the routine of waking up next to her. Screwing around in the kitchen with her. Going to school and coming home with her. For the first time since my mom had passed away, I was happy.

Because she was worried she might lose me. And that’s why I wanted Jerry’s ass beat. Because I was worried I might lose her, just like I did my mother if he took it too far. That girl was literally everything to me. Every-fucking-thing, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

“Why did you have to go mess around with Jerry?” There was an edge of hysteria to her tone. “If he finds out you had anything to do with it, you’ll be dead, and—” “Because I fucking love you. Okay?” I scrubbed a hand over my jaw, panic winding through me at the abrupt confession. “I love you, and I’m terrified of losing you. I hoped Dizzy would kill his ass because you wouldn’t let me do it, and I can’t lose you.”

“You’re in the same clothes you left my house in, Roe. What am I supposed to think?” “That I wouldn’t cheat on you!” Emotionally drained, I had lost the ability to reason. I could have just told him the truth outright, but the fact that he thought I would be unfaithful had me so pissed. I had told him two days ago that I loved him, and here he thought I would jump straight from that to Chase’s bed. Suddenly everything I thought I knew about him, about us, seemed in jeopardy. “You know what.” I stormed to the door and threw it open, pointing to the porch. “Get out!” His nostrils flared. Jaw ticced. He stared right through me, cold and hard, then gave a curt nod before shoving through the doorway.

But he was right there, by my side, running his mouth. “I don’t think she would mess around on you.” I snorted, shouldering through a group of girls fawning over my brother, then I hooked it around the corner, and Wolf was still behind me. “She like...” He paused, then coughed like he was choking on something. “Loves you or some shit. I mean. Come on.”

God, was there something wrong with me? How did I not see this shit coming? First Max… “Is it something I do?” I asked. The anger on Zepp’s face faded. He took the phone from my hand, then tossed it across the room. “It’s nothing you do.” He settled over me, kissing my throat. “It’s just because you’re you, Monroe. I can’t blame the fucker for being in love with you.” His lips met my jaw. “Even if I want to kill him.”

“If you loved someone else, it would break my heart. I feel kind of bad. For him.” “I could never love anyone else, Roe. You’re it for me.”

After Burger King, we walked over to the Wal-E-Mart. Hendrix ducked off to the bathroom to take a shit, and I went to the jewelry counter. I had pushed an extra five hundred bucks’ worth of weed to save up for Monroe’s present. She was absolutely not the jewelry type, but I kept coming back to the diamond rings. Eighteen. Twenty-five. What did age matter? I loved her. More than anything in this world, and I just wanted to know that no matter what, she would always be mine.

“What can you offer her? Dayton? Drug dealing? Stealing cars? What about when you go to jail?” The thing that sucked, he was right. And the fact that she deserved so much better was something I had tried to ignore for so damn long; something I had told myself wasn’t true because I loved her. Love had to count for something, right?

Chase’s words kept playing on a loop in my head. I did love Monroe. More than I had ever loved myself. And what the hell was I supposed to do with that?

“You know that, right?” Then I planted another hard kiss to her lips. “I love you more than anything.” “I know.” She touched her forehead to mine. “I love you too, Zepp.”

The next morning, the noise of the shower echoed down the hall. I opened my drawer to take out the little blue box. The ring sat in the middle of the velvet, sparkling against the Wal-E-Mart logo in the background. I could get down on a knee and give this to her, and I knew she would say yes. She’d put that damn ring on her finger and smile and think her life was grand when all I was doing was taking a huge shit on every aspiration she ever had. That’s what love did. It made people blind. It made people do stupid things. Like stay in Dayton…

The crack in my heart tore wide. I had to get out of here. I hated that he saw himself as so worthless because, to me, he was my entire world. “I don’t...” His brows pinched together, nostrils flaring. “I don’t want you to come back.” “You—" “I’m taking you off the visitor’s list.” He might as well have thrust his hand into my chest and pulled out my heart because this felt so final, and I knew it was. I fought tears as I pushed to my feet, knowing there was nothing I could say. He looked out the window, his jaw slowly ticcing. “I’ll never love anybody the way I love you, Roe. That I promise.”

Out of all the things I had missed the most. It had been that girl. I thought I had done what was best—loved her enough to let her go, given her a chance to get out of Dayton, but the look on her face last week when I went to her mom’s trailer… I couldn’t help but wonder if I had hurt her more than I had saved her. I had never wanted to leave her; I had only wanted her to leave me. Because she deserved so much better than me.

“Yeah. I just got out, and I saw her in our hometown last week with another guy.” I let a frown settle over my face. The girl didn’t need to know the guy wasn’t a threat. “And I can’t lose her. I just really need to tell her I’m still in love with her.” “Oh my God.” Her hand went to her chest, eyes softening. “That is so romantic.” “Can you just…” I poked a finger at the sign. “Can you just let this go. For once. For love.”

lamp clicked on, and Monroe sat up on the edge of the bed, all bare legs. And wearing the T-shirt I had given her the first night she stayed with me.

“I would have done anything for you. And you just…” She shook her head. “You know what, it doesn’t matter.” “Everything I did was because I loved you.” “Then, I don’t want your love because it hurts.” When she looked up at me, tears welled in her eyes. “It still hurts! I can’t move past you. And now you’re back.”

I had never been in love with someone before her, so I had no idea that love wasn’t something a person got over. It was like a piece of shrapnel buried underneath the skin. Something not visible, but something painful that would always be felt.

I pressed my forehead to hers, fighting the raw emotion clawing up my throat. “Please, don’t hate me. I can’t take that.” “I can’t stop loving you.” Her voice broke on a soft sob while her fingers wrapped around my wrists. “I tried. So hard.” I kissed her again. Harder. Longer. “If you’ll give me another chance, I swear to God, I won’t leave you.” “Can we start with three months?” I fought a smile, then kissed her again. Fuck three months; I was getting that girl for the rest of my life.

“You know our three months is up today?” “It is?” Still naked, he dropped down to one knee and held out an opened box. In the middle of the blue velvet sat an emerald ring with diamonds on each side. My pulse raced. My heart spluttered in my chest. “All I wanted to do was take you to Olive Garden.” On a sigh, he shook his head. “I never thought three months would turn into the rest of my life, but…” “Oh my God, Zepp.” I stared at the box, completely shocked. “You gonna marry me, Roe?” “Yes, Zepp. I’ll marry you.” I kissed him, knowing there would never be anyone else for me but him. No one could come close. Our happily ever after wasn’t shiny or pretty, but it was ours. He was no prince, but Zepp Hunt was mine. Always.