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Our wedding photos would be magnificent.
Shut up, Freya! Shut up! Why did you say region? Are you trying to ruin your life?
In fact, the one person I got the closest with was my design school boyfriend who waited until we were lying naked on his dorm room floor to tell me he was gay. It was so horrifying that I still cringe when I think back to my awkward response.
I’m going to tell the Santino bloke about the time I licked battery acid off the grasscutter because it was blue, and I thought it might be candy floss. The paramedics assured me that I was wrong.
Since I decided I didn’t want to tell a room full of people that I’m a twenty-nine-year-old virgin and my sexual experiences are bleak at best!
then realise with great surprise that my best friend just took my breath away.
Kissing shouldn’t be safe. It’s an animalistic act. It’s connecting on a fundamental level that humans should embrace with their base instincts, not their minds. I know she had a bad experience earlier tonight, but I’m her best mate. She doesn’t need to worry with me.
I’ll be sitting in the corner like a sad, lonely troll.”
“I’m not saving myself or something. It’s not some religious thing, and it’s not for lack of trying. I’ve put myself out there in the past, in all my awkward glory, and it just never happened for some reason,”
“Most people lose their virginity at sixteen,” he says, seemingly out of breath for some odd reason. I frown at his very random statement. “Yeah, I know, Mac. I’m not like most people.”
“You know what they say, ‘A beard that rocks the red is a beard that rocks in bed’.”
I know Mac tells me I’m beautiful, and men fancy me, but I didn’t grow up feeling that way. And a few sweet words from a man who is my best friend isn’t giving me any bright ideas that a romantic happily ever after is in my future.
“You’re going to have to stop being mean to me, Freya, or I’m going to fall in love with you.”
I can’t change, and because of that, I’ll probably never get married or procreate, but I’m okay with all of that. Because I’m a realist, and there’s a big wide world out there that exists without true love.”
“Lying cunt.”
Fuck this. Fuck life. Fuck all of this shite.
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
I will never be friends with Maclay Logan again. How can you ever be friends with someone who completely shattered your heart?
Pain. Deep, soul-shaking, pain shoots through my heart.
You’re not good enough, Freya. You’re not special enough, Freya. No one will ever love you, Freya.
Grandad always told me it was better to get that salt out of your eyes than have it festering in your belly.
