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You’re my wee treasure, and I’m right proud of you.”
“You are a proper pain in my arse, Mac. Do you know that?” He beams happily. “It’s a good thing you have a great arse then.”
“Good grief! You don’t have a drink in your hand. Tisn’t right, tisn’t fair, tisn’t proper!”
“I love my cat, but if the choice was between me smelling my own arsehole or Hercules having to meet his maker, he’d have to go.”
“I didn’t expect to see you here, Maclay,” Santino drones, his voice like a wet fucking blanket full of premature ejaculation stains. “Are you joining us?”
“The man who once referred to his dick as the Loch Ness monster is suddenly doing something nice?”
“You’re a disgusting pervert,” I snap. “Come to me.”