Why Fish Don't Exist: A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life

by Lulu Miller

But it’s not just the social toll. Inside the thick-walled bubble of self-delusion, the pain can slowly accumulate. Wilberta Donovan found that new mothers with a high illusion of control experienced more feelings of helplessness when their babies wouldn’t stop crying than do their depressive counterparts. Richard Robins and Jennifer Beer looked at college students over four years and found that, while students with high positive illusions were happier in the short term (because they thought they did better on tasks than they actually did), over time their ratings of well-being took a nosedive. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment, was how Robins and Beer explained it: “short-term benefits but long-term costs.” In other words, the lie catches up.