I was back on the earth I had been trying so hard to escape. The bleak one, with no refuge or promises no matter what you do, how much you believe in your mission, or how hard you repent. I had messed up a lot of the good things in my life. And I wasn’t going to lie to myself any longer. The curly-haired man was never coming back. David Starr Jordan wasn’t going to lead me into some beautiful new existence. There was no way of overcoming Chaos, no guide or shortcut or magic phrase to guarantee everything would end up okay. So what do you do after letting go of hope? Where do you go?
