Keeping 13 (Boys of Tommen, #2)

by Chloe Walsh

Promises made, promises broken – the Lynch family motto.

Everything hurt and I was done. I was so completely done with the pain and the bullshit. I didn’t want this life I had been born into. I didn’t want this family. I didn’t want this town or the people in it. I didn’t want any of it.

"I want to know how you're feeling in your heart."

"Shannon," Mam sobbed. Weak, weak, fucking weak. "Just give me a chance to make this right, baby, please." You can't. You'll never fix this. "I know I can turn this around for all of us."

"It's all words with you," I croaked out bitterly. "All the same words I've heard a million times before, to go with all the same promises you've repeatedly broken."

"Johnny?" My hands moved of their own accord, knotting in the fabric of his hoodie. "If you're going to let me down –" dropping my head, I closed my eyes and inhaled several shaky breaths before tipping my chin up and opening my eyes, "then I need you to do it now, okay? Don’t wait until it's too late, and please… please don’t make it hurt –"

"I need you to take the lead here, Shannon," he whispered. "You need to tell me what you want from me." I could feel his heart hammering hard in his chest. The rhythm seemed to match mine. "Because I'm not making any mistakes with you."

Most of all, I didn't want her to regret me.

"You show up and all the bad just…goes away for a little while."

"That's how you make me feel," she whispered, blue eyes burning their way right down to my soul. "Better. Alive. Free. Safe. Important. I feel like I can breathe for the first time in days and that's only because you're here – because I’m with you."

"I'm just so tired of being here," she confessed in a small voice. "I'm trying, you know – to just get on with it. To not dwell, and to just be grateful, but I'm not grateful and I can't move on. I feel like I'm still trapped, and every day, I'm getting closer to the day where I won't be here anymore."

"I don't just like you, I fucking –" Shaking his head, Johnny rubbed his jaw before looking back at me. "Shannon, I love you."

"And beautiful? Jesus Christ, you are so fucking beautiful that it's painful to look at you. I've never seen anything like you in my life."

"It's like you see me – and I see you. Christ, I think you saw through me that very first day on the pitch at school, because I sure as hell haven't been the same since, Shannon. You don't give a shite about rugby. It never fazed you and that threw me because I'm not used to that. I'm not used to having someone want me for…well, for me – but you did. And you took the time to notice me. To see things that no one else was seeing – things I didn’t want to acknowledge to myself."

"I'm a lot of trouble." "I like your trouble," he countered, stepping closer. "My life is complicated." "I want your complications."

"You asked me what I wanted? There's a lot of things, but in a nutshell, I just want you."

Maybe I was addicted to him, and maybe it wasn’t healthy, my feelings for him certainly bordered on obsessive, but he was encouraging me with every flex of his hips and every thrust of his tongue, showing me that he wanted this just as badly as I did.

"I'm going to keep you," he whispered and his hot breath fanned my face. "If that's okay?" "That's definitely okay," I breathed, pressing my hand to his cheek. "I want you to keep me."

"It's because I am sick to death of being a prisoner in this house."

I was drowning in my own life. I needed to get out. I needed something.

"You look so fucking beautiful." You said that already, lad. "Seriously, you're gorgeous." Shut up, Johnny. "Uh, thanks." Under the street lamps, I could see the blush on her cheeks. "It's the clothes and makeup." "It's the girl,"

His pupils grew darker. My heart hammered harder. "Ah, fuck it,"

my stomach did the thing reading that 🤭🤭

Being with her was an obsession that threatened to consume me daily.

I was completely losing control and that was a problem for me, and my feelings for her were a serious issue because they were too strong to rein in, too much to take, and too reeking of permanence. In other words, I was royally fucking screwed.

What do you want from me?" "Honestly?" I nodded. "Always." "Everything," she whispered, looking into my eyes. "Especially the broken parts." Aw, shite.

"I'm in love with you, Shannon. I'm completely fucking hooked on you, so when you're hurt, it affects me. It hurts me. I can't pretend that it doesn't."

"I already told you, I need you for keeps," I replied gruffly. "There's no expiration date between us." "Whoa." Shannon released a shaky breath and beamed at me. "You say the best things, Johnny Kavanagh."

"I'm not going anywhere," he said, tightening his hold on me. I tried again. "You can't –" "I'm not going anywhere, Shannon." "You don’t need to –" "I'm with you. All of you. Every part. Good and bad. I'm staying. So, don’t hide this part from me."

"Will you come home with me tonight?" He glanced at me, blue eyes blazing with heat. "Will you stay with me? So I know you're safe?" "Yeah." I blew out a shaky breath and nodded, knowing there was nowhere else I wanted to be than with him. "I'll stay with you."

"I'm right here, baby."

"I love you, Johnny Kavanagh," I choked out, clenching my eyes shut as I grabbed his arm and held it to my chest. "Most in the world."

I honest to god felt like I was drowning in everything she was. Her pain, her smiles, her horrible fucking family, her playful personality – the one that peeked out when we were alone together. I was completely caught up in her.

"I've got you, Johnny," Gibsie said, wrapping his arms around me just before I collapsed in a heap. "I'm right here, lad," he whispered, lowering us both to the gravel. "Let it out." So, I did.

A score on a piece of paper tells me nothing, but you rising back up and returning to school to finish out the year and sit in that classroom tells everything about the wonderful, strong girl you are. And you make me prouder than any exam results could."

Understatement of the century. Sean was obsessed with Johnny. Seriously, he followed him around everywhere, watching his every move.

"I know you love my son," she continued. "And I know he loves you very deeply in return.

"I want you to know that John and I both think you are a wonderful influence on our son," she added, smiling. "I've seen Johnny come out of himself more and more since you came into his life. He's playful again. Behaving like an actual teenage boy.

"I love my son, Shannon, more than words can express, but if he gets you into trouble, I will kill him. You're in my care, love. I'm responsible for you, and I love you, and while I can supervise your relationship while you're at home, I need to be prepared for what happens when I'm not around. Like this camping trip, for example."

"But don't forget that you'll always be my 13." She sniffled and wiped my cheek with her fingers. "My binding 13."

"Now, I'm keeping 13," she told me. "So come home to me when you're done, okay?"

I loved her more than I knew what to do with. I could see it all ahead of me; my life, my future, my career, and her. The girl I knew I would play the leading role in all of it. I'd thrown it all in with her and I had no doubts. Not a single one. She was teammate now. My best friend.