The Wisdom of the Enneagram

by Don Richard Riso

The types of this Triad represent the three ways children might attempt to negotiate the separation phase and overcome dependency. Sixes look for somebody like a father-figure, someone who is strong, trustworthy, and authoritative. Thus, Sixes deal with the loss of inner guidance by seeking guidance from others. They are looking for support to become independent, although ironically they tend to become dependent on the very person or system they use to find independence. Fives are convinced that support is unavailable or not reliable, so they attempt to compensate for the loss of inner guidance by mentally figuring everything out on their own. But because they are “going it alone,” they believe they must reduce their need for and attachment to anyone if they are going to break away and be independent. Sevens try to break away by pursuing substitutes for their mother’s nurturing. They go after whatever they believe will make them feel more satisfied and secure. At the same time, they respond to the lack of guidance by trying everything—as if by the process of elimination, they could discover the source of nurturance they are secretly looking for.