The Wisdom of the Enneagram

by Don Richard Riso

THE SELF-PRESERVATION INSTINCT IN THE SIX Responsibility. In the average range, Self-Preservation Sixes attempt to allay their survival anxieties by working hard to build up security through mutual responsibility. They offer service and commitment with the expectation that it will be reciprocated by others. Although they seek secure partnerships, Self-Preservation Sixes tend to make friends slowly: they observe others over time to see if they are trustworthy and truly “on their side.” They are more domestic than the other variants and are frequently concerned with maintaining the stability of their home life. They often take care of the security needs of the household: bills, taxes, insurance, and the like. Self-Preservation Sixes do not easily disguise their anxiety and neediness. In fact, they may use it to gain allies and supporters—vulnerability can elicit help from others. They tend to fret about small things, which can lead to catastrophic thinking and worst-case scenarios. (“The rent is five days late? We’re going to be evicted for sure!”) Self-Preservation Sixes are usually frugal, and worry a great deal about financial matters. Conflicts with others over resources are common. In the unhealthy range, Self-Preservation Sixes are extremely clingy, dependent, and panicky. They stay in punishing situations—bad marriages or overly stressful jobs—because they are terrified of being without support. They may grasp at relationships with such forceful anxiety that they en...