The Wisdom of the Enneagram

by Don Richard Riso

Overcommitment and “Covering All the Bases” Sixes try to fulfill their commitments to many different people and situations, but inevitably they find it impossible to satisfy everyone. Then they become like the Little Dutch Boy who has to put his fingers in all the holes to keep the dike from leaking. They become overextended and often feel taken advantage of. For example, a Six at the office might hear from his spouse that she has made dinner reservations at a fine restaurant—“just for us”—on Friday night. The Six, wanting to reinforce the security he derives from his marriage, agrees and looks forward to a pleasant evening. At about this point, his boss comes in and, knowing the Six to be a reliable and persevering worker, asks if he can stay late on Friday night to meet a Monday morning deadline. Not wanting to disappoint—or get in trouble with the boss—the Six agrees to stay later, while beginning to fearfully figure out what to tell his wife. Later that afternoon, his best friend calls to remind him of their date—made the previous week—for a card game on Friday night. The Six is now in a quandary. Because he has overcommitted himself—trying to cover all the bases—he cannot help but disappoint someone. “Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.” The Six will be racked with fear that others will get angry with him, although he may not actually check to see if this is the case. No matter, the Six’s anxious mind will fill in the gaps with fearful projections and imagine...