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Fives attempt to cope with stress by becoming increasingly narrow in their focus and by retreating into the sanctuary of their thoughts. When this method of coping fails to allay their anxiety, they may go to Seven, reacting against their isolation by impulsively throwing themselves into activities.
Fives going to Seven act out by searching indiscriminately for stimulation and experience. Generally, these diversions have little to do with their
Remember that your mind is clearest and most powerful when it is quiet. Take the time to cultivate this quiet in yourself, and do not confuse it with an insistence that your external world be silent.
Use your body!
Make the effort to reach out to others, especially when you are feeling vulnerable and afraid.
Speak up. Make your needs known, and you may be surprised. Your tendency to isolate usually only gets you deeper into your own trap.
Think carefully about what areas are most debilitating to your self-confidence.
Risk feeling your grief. Most Fives split off their awareness from their pains and hurts, especially from feelings of rejection.
As you become more balanced and grounded in your body, let your impressions of others and of the world around you affect you—let the world in.
The Five’s main gifts to the world involve their tremendous insight and understanding, coupled with some area of expertise.
Fives are extraordinarily observant and perceptive. They are sensitive to their environment and perceive subtle changes or discrepancies that others would likely overlook.
Fives do not lose their childhood curiosity:
Fives also seem to have an extraordinary ability to concentrate and to focus their attention, and they can do so for long periods of time.
integrating Fives grow by coming down out of their heads, and coming into deeper felt contact with their vitality and physicality.
lose their only defense: the sanctuary of their mind. The mind feels safe, reliable, and impregnable; the body feels weak, vulnerable, and unreliable. Further, deeper contact with the body begins to allow powerful feelings of grief and sorrow over Fives’ long isolation to come into awareness.
As they learn to stay with their instinctual energies, Fives begin to participate more fully in their worlds and to apply their knowledge and skill to immediate practical problems.
The “wrong turn” that Fives make is to become identified with their observations of their experiences rather than their experiences themselves.
Naturally, Fives face the same dilemma in their entire lives: they try to figure out how to live life without actually living it. When they are present and grounded, however, Fives are able to know exactly what they need to know, when they need to know it.
PERSONALITY TYPE SIX: THE LOYALIST BASIC FEAR: Of having no support and guidance, of being unable to survive on their own BASIC DESIRE: To find security and support SUPEREGO MESSAGE: “You are good or okay if you do what is expected of you.” The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious
Sixes are the most loyal to their friends and to their beliefs.
they will typically fight for their beliefs more fiercely than they will fight for themselves, and they will defend their community or family more tenaciously than they will defend themselves.
the central issue for Type Six is a failure of self-confidence.
Sixes are the primary type in the Thinking Triad, meaning that they have the most trouble contacting their own inner guidance. As a result, they do not have confidence in their own minds and judgments.
They also tend to fear making important decisions, although at the same time, they resist having anyone else make decisions for them.
They want to avoid being controlled but are also afraid of taking responsibility in a way that might ...
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A good question for Sixes might therefore be: “When will I know that I have enough security?” Or to get right to the heart of it, “What is security?”
Sixes feel they can trust someone, they go to great lengths to maintain connections with the person who acts as a sounding board, a mentor, or a regulator for the Six’s emotional reactions and behavior. They therefore do everything in their power to keep their affiliation going.
The biggest problem for Sixes is that they try to build safety in the environment without resolving their own emotional insecurities.
At a certain point in their development, however, toddlers do a remarkable thing. Despite their tremendous dependency, they begin to move away from their mothers, to assert their independence and autonomy; in child psychology, this is called the separation phase.
One of the most important ingredients that helps the child find the courage to separate from the mother is the presence of the father-figure.
Sixes long for approval and closeness but feel the need to defend against it at the same time. They want to be supported but not overwhelmed.
Many Sixes end up in an uneasy compromise: they offer outward obedience yet retain a feeling of independence through inward rebellion and cynicism, as well as large and small acts of passive-aggression.
THE SIX WITH A FIVE-WING: THE DEFENDER
They often have greater powers of concentration than the other subtype, although they can be narrower in their concerns.
They are more independent and serious than the other subtype, and less likely to go to others for reassurance or advice. They are often loners.
They get reassurance from systems and beliefs, while remaining skeptical.
People of this subtype tend to see the world as dangerous, leading to partisan stances ...
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Sixes with a Five-wing are reactive and aggressive, typically tending to blame or scapegoat perceived threats to their security.
THE SIX WITH A SEVEN-WING: THE BUDDY
Engaging and funny, people of this subtype are less serious than the other subtype—they tend to avoid “heavy” topics and restrict their focus to their security needs
While sociable, they are also visibly insecure and depend on loved ones for reassurance and advice before coming to important decisions.
They have problems with procrastination and initiating projects on their own.
Self-Preservation Sixes attempt to allay their survival anxieties by working hard to build up security through mutual responsibility.
Self-Preservation Sixes tend to make friends slowly: they observe others over time to see if they are trustworthy and truly “on their side.”
Self-Preservation Sixes are extremely clingy, dependent, and panicky.
Paranoia may also drive them to become more aggressive: they exaggerate dangers and strike out at “enemies” to ensure that no one will be able to threaten them.
Social Sixes handle anxiety by looking to friends and allies for reassurance and support.
Social Sixes are the most concerned about fitting in.
Social Sixes can also sometimes resemble Ones in their adherence to protocols and procedures.
Social Sixes can often have difficulty working for their own success or development.
