The Wisdom of the Enneagram

by Don Richard Riso

beneath their imposing exterior, Eights often feel hurt and rejected,

Eights attempt to defend themselves by rejecting others first.

average Eights become blocked in their ability to connect with people or to love since love gives the other power over them, reawakening their Basic Fear.

The more Eights build up their egos in order to protect themselves, the more sensitive they become to any real or imaginary slight to their s...

When Eights are emotionally healthy, however, they have a resourceful, can-do attitude as well as a steady inner drive.

Eights tend to grow up quickly, and survival issues are foremost to them, as if they were asking, “How can I—and the few people I care about—survive in a cruel, uncaring world?”

Rather than detach or withdraw from their punishers, young Eights defended themselves against the feeling of rejection with the attitude, “To hell with them. Who needs them? No one tells me what to do!”

Sometimes the “decision” to steel themselves came when the child felt betrayed by a parent or another significant adult.

Eights consider betrayal to be a pivotal point in their lives because it marked the death of their innocence and goodness.

THE EIGHT WITH A SEVEN-WING: THE INDEPENDENT

people of this subtype are often charismatic and able to attract the support of others to join them in their vision.

They are action-oriented, and want to have an impact on their world.

People of this subtype are adventurous risk-takers; they tend to have “big plans” and, in order to enlist the cooperation of others, to make big promises and exaggerate the potential of their ventures.

THE EIGHT WITH A NINE-WING: THE BEAR

People of this subtype combine strength, self-confidence, and determination with quiet groundedness and a certain laid-back quality.

they can be warm and affectionate at home but highly determined and aggressive at work.

They also tend to speak slowly and to be highly attuned to the nonverbal cues and body language of others—friendly while secretly sizing people up.

Self-Preservation Eights are the most no-nonsense kind of Eights. They focus intently on practical matters and on “bringing home the bacon” so that they will have enough money and power to ensure their well-being as well as that of their loved ones.

Self-Preservation Eights tend to be more materialistic than the other two Instinctual Variants, wanting money for the power it gives but also looking to acquire prized possessions (such as cars or homes) as symbols of their impact and importance.

Social Eights express their intensity through the powerful bonds that they make with others. Honor and trust are big issues for them, and they enjoy making pacts with those who have proven themselves trustworthy.

Feelings of social awkwardness or rejection are eased by surrounding themselves with friends who are predictable and who accept them as they are.

They also enjoy debates about politics, sports, or religion—the more heated, the better.

Social Eights can become extremely antisocial loners.

The combination of intoxication and rage can rapidly destroy much of the good in their lives. In this state, Social Eights are generally unable to comprehend the damage they are doing to themselves or others.

Sexual Eights are the most quietly intense and charismatic kind of Eights.

They have a sly sense of humor and enjoy being “bad.” Sexual Eights can be deeply loving and devoted, but they can also see intimacy as a struggle for control or an opportunity to build their self-esteem.

they demand loyalty, consistency, and attention and have little tolerance for wandering interests in the other.

They have an opinion about every aspect of the others life. Needless to say, this makes it difficult for them to maintain a relationship of equality.

Everything in life is difficult, a struggle, and Eights are constantly straining to assert themselves against what they see as an uncooperative or even hostile environment.

Eights generally do not like working under others, preferring instead the risk and adventure of running their own activities.

Consciously or unconsciously identifying themselves with the strength and immovability of a rock has benefits, reinforcing their self-confidence and can-do spirit, but it also means that Eights must suppress their weaknesses, self-doubts, and fears.

being like a rock makes them defend against many of the good things that come into their lives—caring, intimacy, gentleness, and self-sacrifice. They must be stony and unmoved by difficulties and suffering, either in others or in themselves.

The more threatened or stressed Eights are, the more tough and aggressive they become.

Eights want to feel strong and autonomous; simply put, they want to feel solid and alive.

compels them to act in ways that stimulate feelings of aliveness, leading them to live intensely.

But to the extent that they succumb to the Passion of lust, Eights become trapped in a pattern of asserting their will against the environment (including other people) to gain the intensity they crave.

Eights get hooked on the intensity and adrenaline rush of taking on a challenge and beating the odds.

Being practical-minded people, average Eights usually have some kind of dream for themselves, usually involving a money-making scheme, a business venture, or the stock market.

To the extent that Eights fear depending on others, they want to make sure that they are in charge.

Average Eights do not want people to know how much stress they are under, however. They try to handle all of their problems without telling anyone about them or at least not the extent of them.

Average Eights want others to know that they are “big shots” and can get things done.

Having the means to do favors for others becomes essential. Without bargaining chips of some kind, average Eights feel that they would have to deal with others from a disadvantaged position.

They also try to keep extending their influence—in a sense, expanding their ego boundaries.

When they give an order, they want it to be carried out right away and without question.

Eights like straight talk and become suspicious when others seem to be beating around the bush, which is why the communication style of some of the other types can be a problem for Eights.

other types are confounded by how audacious and forceful Eights can be.

Part of the problem is that Eights do not know their own strength.

The more insecure Eights are, the more likely they will be to aggressively assert themselves, ironically creating more resistance and less cooperation in others.

When Eights feel threatened and insecure, they can become explosive and unpredictable. It is difficult for others around them to know what will set them off.

Eights’ tendency to struggle for control can escalate into open conflict if they feel that others may get an unfair advantage over them.