The moment she’d left for New York without me I’d known that this meant the end for us. The realization had been like a punch in the gut, the realization that she wouldn’t stay with me, a monster. No one would. She’d seemed to enjoy my company in the end, enjoyed my closeness and my touch but I didn’t fool myself. Her affection for me had been born out of necessity. She’d had no choice. She couldn’t get away from me. She had sought my closeness because she was relieved it wasn’t brutality that I showed her. But now everything had changed.
