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July 2 - July 25, 2022
You can’t change the past. You can only discover and better understand who you really are and why.
The most fundamental aspect of your humanity is your ability to make choices and stand by those choices, what Viktor Frankl called the last of human freedoms, “To choose one’s own way.” Choosing your own way has at least two key meanings: making decisions about what you want to happen and choosing how you respond to what does happen.
The two most crucial factors influencing your ability to make choices are your social and cultural environments, as well as your emotional development as a person. The more emotionally evolved you become, the less defined you’ll be by your past and the less constrained you’ll be by your circumstances.
You become who you choose to be. Yet, fully choosing who you are and will become is rare. We’ve been brainwashed into believing we don’t have such a choice. Facing the responsibility and freedom of choosing your own way is, indeed, scary.
Choosing one’s own way is a primary purpose of our lives. Yet there is a fear in making choices, because choices have consequences. As a result, people avoid making decisions, fail to choose their own way, and limit their capacity for growth, learning, and change.
People use the past as the excuse to remain stuck in habits and attitudes that keep them from growing.
your past is not prologue. Your past is not the defining feature of who you are. You are not “caused” by your past. Your personality isn’t permanent. The most successful people in the world base their identity and internal narrative on their future, not their past
This is how successful people live: They become who they want to be by orienting their life toward their goals, not as a repeat of the past; by acting bravely as their future selves, not by perpetuating who they formerly were.
What matters is who you want to be. What matters are the choices you make
Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they’re finished.
Myth #1: Personality Can Be Categorized into “Types” There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum. —Dr. Carl Jung
Your personality should come from your goals. Your goals shouldn’t come from your personality.
“The more labels you have for yourself, the dumber they make you.”
Who you want to be in the future is more important than who you are now, and should actually inform who you are now. Your intended future self should direct your current identity and personality far more than your former self does.
Myth #3: Personality Comes from Your Past Because sometimes the past deserves a second chance. —Malcolm Gladwell
Myth # 4: Personality Must Be Discovered Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself. —George Bernard Shaw
“Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.”
Passion is the prize, but you have to invest first. Personality is no different. It is not something you discover but rather something you create through your actions and behaviors. The idea that personality is to be discovered comes from the same faulty reasoning that personality is innate and past-based.
The most successful people in the world know that work is about helping and creating value for other people. As Newport states, “If you want to love what you do, abandon the passion mindset (‘what can the world offer me?’) and instead adopt the craftsman mindset (‘what can I offer the world?’).”
we fall to the level of our labels rather than rise to the level of our commitment.
Your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have. Without having a goal it’s difficult to score. —Paul Arden
Personal confidence comes from making progress toward goals that are far bigger than your present capabilities. —Dan Sullivan
Those who become successful constantly expose themselves to new things. They travel, read books, meet new people. They prize education and learning. They seek to be surprised. They happily shatter their current paradigms for new and better ones—knowing that with better information, they can make more informed decisions. They can set better goals and aims for themselves. They can have better reasons.
Confidence is built through acts of courage.
Without viewing yourself in an imagined and different way, it’s actually not possible to engage in deliberate practice. This is called “deliberate” for a reason. You have a goal and the practice is targeted directly at that goal. The practice is purposeful and measured, not random and based merely on a “love of the process.”
expectancy theory, one of the most researched and core theories of motivation, in order to have high levels of motivation, you need three things: A clear and compelling goal or outcome A path or process you believe will lead to the attainment of that goal A belief that you execute and succeed
“Are you interested in achieving these goals, or are you committed?” to which Assaraf responded, “What’s the difference?” His mentor responded: “If you’re interested, you come up with stories, excuses, reasons, and circumstances about why you can’t or why you won’t. If you’re committed, those go out the window. You just do whatever it takes.”
A mistake repeated more than once is a decision. —Paulo Coelho
Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it. —Richard Whately
My goals are framed by answering the following questions: Where am I now? What were the wins from the past ninety days? What are the wins I want from the next ninety days? Where do I want to be in three years? Where do I want to be in one year?
always wanted to be better, wanted more. I can’t really explain it, other than that I loved the game but had a very short memory. That fueled me until the day I hung up my sneakers. —Kobe Bryant
the truth of Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
when your “status” becomes more important than your “growth,” you usually stop growing. However, when growth is your genuine motive, then you usually end up getting lots of status.
“I firmly believe you should never spend any of your time being the ‘former’ anything.”
whichever you experience, you should never get stuck in the past, nor let your past define you.
Your authentic self is your future self. Who you aspire to be.
“We see the world, not as it is, but as we are.” If you have a negative view of yourself, then you probably have a negative view of the world. If you have a positive view of yourself, then you probably have a positive view of the world. The world is viewed through the lens of your identity.
Most thoughts are governed by emotions, particularly in emotionally heated situations. Those thoughts are reactive and unintentional, but go on to become the long-term meaning and narrative held by the person.
“It’s easier to hold to your principles 100 percent of the time than it is to hold to them 98 percent of the time.”
Decisions shape your future. Your future shapes your identity. Your identity shapes your choices and ultimately your personality.
“The bigger your future the better your present.”
The glue that holds our body, memories, and identity together is our emotions.
“Upper Limit Problem.” When you begin making improvements in your life, you’re going to subconsciously try to get back to where you feel comfortable. This is emotional.
“Pain and other chronic symptoms are physical manifestations of unresolved internal conflict. Symptoms surface as the instinctual mechanism for self-survival. They are messages from the inner self wanting to be heard, but ego takes center stage, and hides the truth within the shadows of the unconscious mind: which is the body.”
The best of all medicines are rest and fasting. — Benjamin Franklin
I let her know I was committed to my future, not my past.
If we do not create and control our environment, our environment creates and controls us.
You can choose the kind of personality you are going to have. It is not something you are stuck with. It is not something you have to have, even if you have never elected anything to the contrary. —Dr. Wayne Dyer
