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July 11 - July 25, 2020
Because people’s lives become highly routine, both in their social roles and their environments, you begin to see very predictable behaviors and attitudes.
It’s not that your personality itself becomes stable but rather that your routine environments and social roles lock you into habitual patterns.
“People are predictable, that’s true. . . . But they’re predictable because we see them in situations where their behavior is constrained by that situation and the roles they’re occupying and the relationships they have with us.”
People become old far too fast.
The more psychologically rigid a person is, the more they see themselves as and even attempt to be the same person in every situation they are in. This narrow approach lacks recognition that in different situations, not only should you be a different person, but in different situations you can’t help being a different person.
Westerners tend to view the world from what is called an “atomistic” viewpoint, which assumes that something (or someone) can be understood regardless of context. Fundamental to this view is isolating and abstracting things from their co...
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From a relational worldview, nothing can be understood outside of its context. In fact, it is the context or “relationship between” that determines the meaning of the thing.
If you were to lose a person you love, you wouldn’t just lose that person but also the person you were when with them. All loss includes a loss of yourself. And conversely, meeting new people or entering new relationships leads to the creation of a new self.
Undeniably, your personality is shaped by what surrounds you.
there is a vast amount of research showing that your peer group powerfully influences your behavior and choices.
Until you become intentional and serious about your context, you will never be able to become who you want to be.
You need an environment that continuously calls to mind your future self. If your environment doesn’t continuously bring your future self to the forefront, then your environment is activating a different you.
“Do what is right, let the consequences follow.”
“Better prolific than perfect.”
“100 percent is easier than 98 percent.”
“Assume the feeling of your wish fulfilled.”
“You can’t be free without uncertainty.”
“Never be the former anything.”
“Good timber does not grow with ease.”
“Nothing happens until after the boats are burned.”
Your environment should be full of strategic reminders of who you want to be, helping you to become your desired future self.
If you’re going to create a life of meaning and growth, you need to proactively design your environment with transformational triggers.
If you are going to really become your future self, you need an environment that reminds you of that future self, not your former self.
You could fill your entire environment with reminders of your highest aspirations and goals. And you should.
Selective ignorance is not the avoidance of learning. It’s not the avoidance of getting feedback. It’s simply the intelligence of knowing that with certain things and people, the juice will never be worth the squeeze. It’s knowing what to avoid.
In order to create an environment that shields you from the distractions in this world, you need to know what you want. You need to know what you stand for. You need to have rules and systems that stop you from finding yourself in a mire of filth or the daze of endless opportunity.
You need to make one decision that makes a million other decisions either easier, automatic, or irrelevant. This is how you remove decision fatigue. This is how you shield yourself from the onslaught of inputs and agendas seeking your time and attention.
Environment is among the most powerful and important personality levers. If you’re serious about changing yourself and your life, you must change your environment.
You can choose the kind of personality you are going to have. It is not something you are stuck with. It is not something you have to have, even if you have never elected anything to the contrary.
