Without You (Without You Duet Book 1)

by Marley Valentine

If someone makes you feel, let them. REYNA BIDDY

My parents have each other, Victoria has her family, and he has nobody—we both have nobody.

With every salty drop of emotion, I feel understood. With every salty drop of emotion, I feel a little less lost. With every salty drop of emotion, I feel tethered to a man I’ve spent my whole life hating. And with that last salty drop of emotion, I know I need to get the fuck out of here.

There are many times in my life that I’ve felt alone. In my thoughts, in my experiences, in my feelings. But as another door closes, and another person leaves, I wonder, is this how it’s always going to be?

My mother wanted the best for me—I was her first-born son—and like any parent, she had hopes and dreams and expectations. And like any parent, she was disappointed. I didn’t like the things she wanted me to like, and I didn’t do the things she wanted me to do.

A falsified moment of the only things I want, and the only thing I’ll never get.

When he closes the front door, I accept the action for what it is. Don’t worry, Deacon Sutton, ‘fuck you’ too.

He lets his hand fall and takes an exaggerated step back. And I pretend his need for distance doesn’t hurt.

In any way, shape, or form, did I expect Deacon Sutton to be the very last thing I thought about before I finally fell asleep.

With his mouth right by my ear, any fleeting thought I had is turned into dust as his low and firm voice coils itself around my spine. “I said, ‘No’.”

“What the fuck are you doing to me?”

Looking around apprehensively, I watch him lean over, his body as close as he can be without being obvious. “Move closer,” he demands. “Excuse me?” I hiss. His eyes do another quick sweep around us, and he places his hand on my thigh. “I want you to move closer.”

My body burns with every confession he sets free, and I hate him for it. I hate him for feeling the same, and I hate him for making it almost impossible to walk away. I hate him as I throw myself at him, because I know with absolute certainty, I don’t hate him at all.

His mouth captures mine, as if he’s done nothing but wait for me to kiss him.

With every swipe of his tongue, I feel understood. With every swipe of his tongue, I feel a little less lost. With every swipe of his tongue, I feel tethered to a man I can’t have. And with that last tantalizing swipe of my tongue against his, I know I’ll never be alone again.

“You think after the last two weeks, and the longest twelve hours of my fucking life,” he says hoarsely, “you weren’t the first person I wanted to see?”

I lower my hand to my stiff cock, but a commanding voice stops me. “Don’t fucking touch what’s mine.”

Emotion gets stuck in my throat; how did I ever think this man was indifferent and unfeeling? Love pours out of him, like he’s been waiting his whole life to shower someone with it.

“Does any of this bother you?” I question. “Does any of what bother me?” “The two dicks? The nakedness?” I feel him smile on my skin. He slides his hand from my waist to my chest, purposefully placing it right above my heart. “It’s about what’s in here,” he explains, tapping his fingers on my pec. “That’s what called to me, and that’s the only thing that matters.”

And I could clearly see everything I had been missing out on. All those missing pieces were no longer missing, because I’d found them in Julian.

Not caring who’s around, I grab his face and bring it to me. “You bought me gloves.” It’s not a question, or even a statement, it’s a fucking revelation. I think I’m in love with you.

“Get on your back,” he demands. “I want you to remember my face when I fuck you. So you know exactly who you’re walking away from, and the man you better fucking come back to.”

“Fuck,” I grunt out. “I can’t stop,” I admit. “How do you ever expect me to stop this? Stop you?”

“I don’t like being away from you. I don’t like that you’re struggling, and I don’t like that you won’t talk to me, so now I’m going to talk to you, and you’re going to listen.”

“You’re the beat of my heart, the blood in my veins, the strength in my bones. None of me works without you. And if you need me to tell you every fucking day for the rest of our lives, then I will, because you are more than enough. You’re everything.”

“I’m so, so fucking sorry she said that to you,” he cries. “You are not less than or undeserving of anything, Deacon Sutton. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to feel whole, and I won’t let anyone, not even your mom, take this away from us.”

He’s heartbreakingly beautiful in our role reversal, taking care of me, protecting me, fighting for me. I’ve never had a single person love me enough to do that.

“I know you’re not familiar with how this piece of the puzzle works, but you’re mine. You are always going to be mine.” My lips turn upward at his hint of possessiveness. “So, if you think I’m going to let anyone treat the man I love with anything less than the respect he deserves, and then think I’m still keeping them around?” He clicks his tongue. “Then maybe you’re underestimating how much I love you.”

“I love you more than my past,” he says. “I love you more than the obstacles the present has thrown in our way. Because you’re my future. And I’m going to love you forever because you’re my always.”