Without You (Without You Duet Book 1)

by Marley Valentine

My eyes fill with tears, because it’s one thing to know your parents love you, but it’s another to know you’re still never enough.

we both have nobody. It’s simple, but it’s the truth.

With every salty drop of emotion, I feel understood. With every salty drop of emotion, I feel a little less lost. With every salty drop of emotion, I feel tethered to a man I’ve spent my whole life hating. And with that last salty drop of emotion, I know I need to get the fuck out of here.

In order for me to survive, I try not to feel anything at all.

Some days I wake up and I want to eradicate every single thing of his from my life. I want to erase every single memory and all our history. And then every other day I pray that I’ll never ever forget him.

Sometimes I wonder if death really is the worst thing, because being alive and feeling so empty and hollow seems to be much worse.

Call it guilt, or call it paying a debt to my dead brother, but for whatever reason, leaving Julian to fend for himself doesn’t sit right with me.

It feels natural, understated almost. Like something I’ve done my whole life. Except there’s the warmth that explodes inside my chest as soon as my palm presses against him, and it... it definitely suggests otherwise.

His empathy. His sincerity. His generosity. It’s taking up space inside my chest. Space that isn’t his, and space I shouldn’t want to give.

Losing Rhett was hard, but losing people who are still alive is harder.

I watch Ray lean embarrassingly close to Deacon, and I hate it. I hate the sight of it. I hate that Deacon doesn’t move back. And I hate that I hate it.

He angles his head, lowering his mouth to my ear, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. “What the fuck are you doing to me?”

“You don’t think I’m trying?” His voice is like lava, nothing but thick heat. He leans in, his hands trailing up my arms as he moves closer. “You don’t think I’m trying to forget how you feel against me? How you taste? How perfect your goddamn mouth is?”

With every swipe of his tongue, I feel understood. With every swipe of his tongue, I feel a little less lost. With every swipe of his tongue, I feel tethered to a man I can’t have. And with that last tantalizing swipe of my tongue against his, I know I’ll never be alone again.

“Why are you trying to be ‘just friends’ with him if you think it could be more?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” I huff. The blank look on Wade’s face says otherwise, so I spell it out for him. “He was my dead brother’s boyfriend.”

Julian Reid has a lot to offer this world, I just don’t think he’s figured it out yet.

“It’s my favorite time of the day.” “The early morning?” “No,” he says gruffly, and I imagine him shaking his head on the other side of the phone. “Talking to you.”

Independence lies to you, tells you you’re doing fine on your own. But alone never felt so lonely until right now. Until I knew what it was like to have a man like Deacon want to take care of me.

“The two dicks? The nakedness?” I feel him smile on my skin. He slides his hand from my waist to my chest, purposefully placing it right above my heart. “It’s about what’s in here,” he explains, tapping his fingers on my pec. “That’s what called to me, and that’s the only thing that matters.”

Being in Seattle with him was like being caught in a fresh gust of wind. It woke you up, it made you aware, it forced you to pay attention.

He fits in. Like he’s always belonged, and I know, even after only a handful of days, my place will feel empty without him.

Not caring who’s around, I grab his face and bring it to me. “You bought me gloves.” It’s not a question, or even a statement, it’s a fucking revelation. I think I’m in love with you

“Get on your back,” he demands. “I want you to remember my face when I fuck you. So you know exactly who you’re walking away from, and the man you better fucking come back to.”

I kiss him till my heart has made its way into his chest, and then some. I kiss him till he’s breathless. I kiss him till all he can see is me.