Without You (Without You Duet Book 1)

by Marley Valentine

“I don’t like being away from you. I don’t like that you’re struggling, and I don’t like that you won’t talk to me, so now I’m going to talk to you, and you’re going to listen.”

“It’s naive of us to think that your life with him didn’t exist. He’s my brother, we can’t just ignore it. Ignore he existed. Ignore that you loved him first.”

“I’m not perfect. And sometimes I’m irrationally jealous of my own brother, but that was a problem long before you came along.

“But despite all that, he was my brother, and I know, with every fiber of my being, h...

than for you to be happy. With someone or on your own, here or halfway across the...

“I want t...

“I just feel like I’m saying goodbye, and I ...

“The way you feel about him and the choice you make to move forward are n...

“Missing him doesn’t mean you have to be miserable, and being happy doesn’t mean you...

Deacon would dismiss his strength, but I know not every man who’s lived in their brother’s shadow would man up the way he did.

To put his truths on the table, for my benefit. To put my needs and worries above his own, is just another one of the multitude of reasons as to why I love him. And I do. The hows and whys don’t matter to me anymore. All I know is I’m irrefutably in love with Deacon Sutton, and for the first time in a long time, the idea of that doesn’t scare me. I feel hope. I feel promise. From the boy who lost his way, not once, not twice, but three times, I finally feel like I’m home.

“I love you,”

“I love you, and I don’t want one more second to pass without you knowing how I feel about you.”

“It feels like I’ve waited so long to hear you say those words to me.”

“I feel like I’ve waited even longer to be able to say them back to you.”

“I am so ridiculously in love with you.”

“What’s my Christmas present?”

“Me. It’s always going to be me.”

I’m not ashamed of my feelings, of what I want, and what I have. And in an unusual twist of maturity, I realize my brother died knowing what it was like to love and be loved by a great man, and that alone is something I will always be indebted to Julian for.

“You’re not doing this to him.”

“Are you listening to me? I will not stand by her ruining him.”

“Am I enough for you?”

“I know I said I was fine with everything you shared with him, but I need to know the truth, because I’m so sick of being the fucking consolation prize.”

“Deacon, if you’re going to ask me a question, then you have to look at me when I’m answering it.”

To say I didn’t love your brother with everything I had would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told.”

“I was so lost, and so alone. I felt that loneliness in my bones, and one day he just shined his light on me, and I couldn’t stay away even if I’d tried. He was my best friend. He taught me how to laugh, and he gave me the confidence to be myself. And there were times when I really needed that. We started as boys in love, trying to build a life out of naivety and hope. When he got sick, plans and dreams for the future gave him hope.”

“It was young love, first love, puppy love. It was forged out of friendship, and it lasted as long as it did out of necessity.

“But this, wi...

“My heart did...

for him the way it does for you. The rush, the ferocity, the desperation to be with you—I have never felt anything with such strength and ...

“So, you want to know if you’re enough for me?”

“You’re the beat of my heart, the blood in my veins, the strength in my bones. None of me works without you. And if you need me to tell you every fucking day for the rest of our lives, then I will, because you are more than enough. You’re everything.”

“He might’ve had a piece of my heart, Deacon, but you own it. It’s yours till the day you say you don’t want it.”

“Never,”

“I will never not w...

“I’m so, so fucking sorry she said ...

“You are not less than or undeserving of anything, Deacon Sutton. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to feel whole, and I won’t let anyone, no...

Holding me just isn’t enough right now. I need to feel centered and grounded, and Julian and his body are the only way I can find it.

He’s heartbreakingly beautiful in our role reversal, taking care of me, protecting me, fighting for me. I’ve never had a single person love me enough to do that.

Julian was it for me, and after the way he made me feel today, even forever wouldn’t be enough.

“I want you,”

“I want nothing but you.”

“I’m ...

“I’ll always b...

“You can do whatever you want to me, but please tell me you’re okay.”

“I feel so raw right now,”

“Every part of me feels battered and bruised, and the only thing I want to do is get lost in the man I love.”

With every touch of his lips and taste of his tongue, he owns more of me. He owns more of my body, more of my heart, and I have never wanted someone to have every part of me until Julian.

I anticipate it being somewhat uncomfortable, and even hurting, but having us connected in that way, especially after today? I need it. I need to feel his love. The insecure guy I’ve always been, needs to feel his love.

“What did she say about us?”