The Return

by Rachel Harrison

“What do you mean, ‘not really’? Do you have feelings for him?” “Yes,” I say. “But I can’t tell if I want him or if I just want someone.” And there it is. Sometimes I surprise myself with the truth. I guess it’s been there this whole time, living inside me, rent-free. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Molly asks. I have to give her credit; she’s being very gentle with me. “Because . . . it’s not a good look. And with my past, I just . . . I knew you’d be mad.” “I’m not mad,” she says. “This is a different situation. Is it fucked-up? Yeah, a little bit. All I want is for you to be honest with me and honest with yourself. Okay? You need to face reality here, Lise.” “I have.” “Yeah? You know that nothing can ever happen between you two, right? You get that? You’ve accepted that?” “Yes, I know I will never be with Tristan,” I say, and I mean it. “I know, Molly. There’s nothing there. It’s over. It’s done.” “Okay. Good. Look, I’m not mad. Swear it. I am legit exhausted, though,” she says. “We’ll revisit this unsavory subject tomorrow. Preferably with alcohol.”