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“Being around you for any amount of time can turn a saint into a sinner,” I say. “If you’re insistent on joining this ‘pity party,’ go make me some oatmeal.” “I thought you didn’t like my food,” I say. “Hopefully even you can’t ruin oatmeal,” he says. “One could hope,”
As I leaf through the clearance rack, he wanders around hitting everything with his cane as people give him a wide berth. I think he’s getting enjoyment out of it in some messed-up way. “Lane, I think you’re supposed to tap, not swing it like a broadsword you’re aiming at someone’s ankles.” He cocks his head at me like what I said was super confusing. “I don’t think so.”
I swing the door open and look in at a really nice collection of guns. “Ooh.” “Can you tell me what they are?” Lane asks as he hovers over the safe. “There are some little pew pews and a couple of big pew pews,” I say. “You’re useless.”
“Then you’re going to carry a gun.” “You blind have a better chance of doing something with a gun than I do,” I say. “I know, but sometimes you need it for show.” “Then can I have something awesome? Like a battle axe? I mean, I definitely wouldn’t fuck with a guy toting a battle axe around.” “Those noodle arms couldn’t lift a battle axe, let alone carry it around all day,” he says.
I find a winter hat which I grab and head over to Lane. I pull it onto his head and pull it down over his eyes. “There ya go. Now you’re pulling off the Daredevil look,” I say with a grin. “I feel like an idiot,” he says. “Yeah, but you look like a superhero,” I say.
“So much that I can shoot the middle without having to look.” “Well…that was kind of hot,” I say. “How about instead of teaching me to shoot, I step back, you take your clothes off, and I watch you shoot while I jerk off?”
“You already know where the sights are. Then down here,” he says as he slides my finger across the barrel toward the handle, “is the safety. Do not ever take it off unless you plan to shoot something and never shoot unless you’re prepared to kill someone.” “Can I have my battle axe now?”
“What are you doing?” I ask. “You trying to wash the evidence off you?” He snorts. “I feel oily but that’s about it. She lathered me in oil and rubbed her tits down my body, so that was fun.” “I touched boobs for the first time!” I exclaim, and Lane starts laughing.
“I was so scared, but I was so badass, Lane. I like…stabbed someone with glass, stole a gun, held Red at gunpoint, and stole a car. Oh, and I kicked a man in the balls so hard he was crying.”
