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Finnegas tried to play it off. “We’ll be back before you know it,” he’d said. “Just look at this as a sort of extended vacation.” Vacation—right. We’re dealing with gods here. Those fuckers can hold a grudge for centuries. Hell, I might never be able to come home.
“Her words were clear,” Eliandres chimed in reply. “Quite clear,” Lucindras added. “Wait just one flippin’ minute,” I protested. “You two are going to kill me just because I didn’t leave town on time?” “Oh, druid. ‘Kill’ is such a droll word,” the female fae replied. “We prefer to call it, ‘permanent expatriation.’ Doesn’t that sound so much better?” “It does, Lucindras,” her male accomplice smugly replied.
Since the wounds caused by Diarmuid only appeared when I shifted, I’d spent plenty of time in the Grove experimenting with shifting into the part-human, part-Fomorian form I’d used in the past. In that form, my internals were Fomorian while my skin and shape appeared human, which was why I thought it might work. But nope—I’d nearly died from internal bleeding when I tried it. Oops.
“Poison, Eliandres—really? What, you didn’t think you could take me out without cheating?” “Don’t be dense, Druid,” he replied, his voice dripping with smug confidence. “We fae don’t subscribe to the human ideals of honor and fair play. The manticore venom is just another tool to get the job done.”
Whoa, I feel weird. “Ah, fuck. Wait, did I say that out loud?” “What’s wrong, druid? Having a hard time securing transport?” the assassin teased. “As every legitimate mage knows, manticore venom is known to cloud the senses, making telepathy very, very difficult. Didn’t the Seer teach you that during your training?”
For starters, the manticore venom had spread throughout my body. The good news was that it had only paralyzed the area around the wound. So, while that leg was out of commission, I had control of my other limbs—more or less. But due to the inebriating effects of the poison, I wasn’t thinking very clearly and I was having trouble with fine motor control and speech. That was the real bitch of it all. The method I’d learned to cast spells required three things: mental clarity to focus my magic, manual dexterity to perform the gestures that channeled whatever power I might gather, and a clearly
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Eliandres groaned beside us, so I pulled Lucindras’ dagger out of her eye and plunged it in her partner’s chest. “Shut up, you.” He answered with a short, rattling breath, followed by lots of nothing else. Satisfied that I’d get no further lip from either assassin, I allowed myself to slip into semi-consciousness.
This vial doesn’t smell of toxins, but I can’t truly be certain if it’s the cure. The good news is that if it isn’t, it won’t make your situation any worse than it already is.” “Joy,” I grumbled, motioning weakly. “Give it.” “Even dying, he has the manners of a rabid ungulate.”
“Unicorn semen, a cure for magical poisons that also has minor healing properties. I didn’t want to tell you beforehand, because I knew you wouldn’t take it.” “You serious?” He nodded, crossing his arms and covering his mouth to hide a barely suppressed grin. “Deadly.” “And unicorns are real?” “Nearly extinct, but they are very real.”
Then the insurance companies should pay for everything.” “Except my coffee,” I lamented. He scowled. “Oh, quit pouting already. I’ll make you another before you go.” I perked up. “You’re the best—you know that, right?” Luther took his time sashaying back inside the café. “And don’t you forget it, sugar.” He returned a minute later, this time using vampire speed to deliver two steaming-hot cups of coffee. I took the to-go cups from his hands, raising one to him with a nod. “Cheers,” I said, before taking a sip. “Ah, silky, sweet perfection.”
“Wait a minute—you think Eliandres and Lucindras were working for someone else?” He took another sip of his coffee. “Oh, most assuredly. Despite their loyalty to their queen, they’d have had no problem taking a commission from another, equally powerful patron. So long as the contract didn’t require them to break trust with Maeve, of course.” “Well, that’s disturbing.
What the hell? I spun around just in time to see a tall, willowy figure across the alley. A millisecond later there was a flash of light, heat, and force that blasted me across the room like a rag doll. Just before I collided with a solid surface for the second time that day, I remembered that the walls inside this particular building were made of stone instead of dirt. This is just not my day.
“It isn’t luck that’s saved your bacon so many times, but ingenuity. And that ingenuity is the hallmark of what made the druids such a threat to the gods. Why do you think they conspired with the Romans to wipe the groves out?” “Ah, so it was the Celtic gods. I had my suspicions.” He gave a short nod and blew smoke from his nostrils. “Some of them. How else would the Roman Empire gain the means to do so? And now that they suspect you have access to a grove, there’s no telling what they’ll do.” “You think Aenghus told the twins to poison me?”
“I was not, under any circumstances, allowed to plant another Druid Oak—under pain of death.” I sat up and leaned forward. “Finnegas, if they think I have access to a Druid Grove, that means—” “Yep. It means they also suspect I broke the truce.” “Ah, hell.” I jumped to my feet, pacing like a caged lion. “We have to get the Dagda to tell them it wasn’t you. Heck, I’ll tell them, for that matter. Otherwise they’ll come after you, and we can’t let that happen.”
“I promise that I’ll look after Finnegas and you know he’s going to look after me. And the Oak and Grove will be looking after us both. After we jump around a few times, they’ll have no idea where to pick up the trail or how to find us. Once we figure out a way to appease Aenghus and whichever other gods are after me, we’ll come back and things will return to normal. You’ll see.” She leaned forward, pulling me into a hug. Maureen was surprisingly strong, and frankly she was squeezing the life out of me. I didn’t care. “Yer’ like a damned son ta’ me, ya’ know that?”
“Luther,” I said, giving him an informal salute as I looked at his captives. “I know you didn’t call me down here just to watch you off these clowns. So, what gives?” “Coven tradition states that, when one of our kind is sentenced to death, the party in question is allowed to choose their manner of death.” He gave a grim smile. “And for some strange reason, these three have requested that you be the one to execute their sentences.”
Sheathing my sword in my Bag, I turned to face Luther. “I take it that, as designated executioner for the guilty parties, said time of execution is at my discretion?” A wry grin played across his lips, but the slight crinkle in his forehead told me he was not altogether pleased. “It is.” “I’ll have need of the girl for a time. She’ll stay with me and be my responsibility, until I dispose of her.” The coven looked on as Luther gave a short, stiff nod. “So be it. The Justiciar has spoken.”
“Alright, fine. I’ll go with the ginger. But I ain’t sleeping with him.” Qistina dropped Clara back in her seat. “Pfft. I’d say you’re not his type, either. And besides, if you did his werewolf girlfriend would eat your face off.” The little redneck vampire remained unperturbed. “Is she cute? Cuz’ I might consider a threesome, if she was.”
Meanwhile, Clara was doing a fairly decent rendition of the Mexican hat dance as she attempted to avoid a half-dozen encroaching vines. “Shoo, go away,” she cried while Finnegas looked on with amusement. “I said stop it,” I barked at the sky overhead. “You can stand her presence for a few more seconds. And no, you can’t restrain her, just to be safe.” “Who’s he talking to?” Clara asked as she retreated from the growing army of slowly-advancing vines that had nearly surrounded her. “The voices in his head,” Finnegas replied, matter-of-factly. “Oh, hell—I knew he was batshit crazy,” she cried.
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“Listen up, Beano. I’m going to spare you two, because I don’t have the time or patience to get rid of your bodies.” “You shoulda’ killed us, wizard. Cause when we heal up, we gonna come after ya’, f-sure.” “And next time I’ll just burn your asses to ash. You and Spork stay out of my way, and it won’t have to come to that.” I was about to leave when I realized I needed to keep them from contacting their coven-mates. Without getting too close, I targeted each of them with a jolt of static electricity that was more than enough to fry any electronics they might be carrying. Watching them twitch
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“And you somehow spotted the tracking spell I put on her.” “I smelled it, actually. It wasn’t difficult to figure out how that seed got buried inside her jacket sleeve.” I’d never considered that my tracking seeds would be detectable by scent, and it was something I’d need to address before I used the spell again.
“Allow me to explain. As a primary, I was not turned by the vyrus. Instead, I exchanged my humanity for power in another way.” An incredulous laugh escaped my lips. “Holy shit, Jacques—you mean to tell me you let yourself be taken by a vampiric spirit?” “More than two-and-a-half millennia ago, in fact.” “Tsk, tsk,” I said as I took another bite. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you that conjuring major entities is a rigged game?”
I flashed her a shit-eating grin. “Why Brigid—I had no idea you cared.” Maman Brigitte’s eyes narrowed, but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You watch that cute little smart-ass of yours, druid. My granddaughter would be mighty upset if something were to happen to it.”
“Speaking of which—Brigid says one of your old flames is involved now. Apparently Badb is just as eager to see me meet a premature end as Aenghus.” “As I said before, I only slept with her once. Twice would’ve been courting disaster.” “If she’s that dangerous, they why’d you bump uglies with her?” I said, biting back a chuckle. Finnegas dropped his chin to his chest and glowered at me. “You’ve obviously never met a woman who maxes out the hot-crazy matrix.”
Clara had to know she couldn’t outrun them, because as fast as she was, her speed and strength were no match for theirs. And I’d yet to see any “friendly” vamps coming to her aid. Oh, hell. That means she’s setting them up for me. Just as I realized what she was doing, Clara cut through an empty lot filled with weeds and tall, barren trees.
With no other options, it was time to go old school. The vamp couldn’t hear me or see me, and like a dummy she’d given me a little too much time. In one smooth motion, I drew my Glock and fired. The silver-tipped nine-millimeter round punched a hole in her left eye, then it exited the back of her skull, taking a good portion of her brain matter with it. “Five,” I said as the vamp collapsed like someone had just cut her strings.
He paused to rub his chin as he considered the device. “I must admit, however, this cage might be my crowning achievement.” “How’s it work?” “Obviously, it cannot be opened from the inside. Once an individual is locked within, only an outside accomplice may set them free. That is, if they know how to defeat the wards. Even then, I’ve designed them such that only the one who initially powers the wards may defuse them without triggering a tremendous backlash of magical energy.” “Shit. Meaning, once I lock you inside, I’ll be the only one who can set you free.” He nodded almost imperceptibly.
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Suddenly, the weight of my responsibility for completing the task ahead settled heavily on my conscience. “What if something happens to me?” I asked. “What if I fail?” “Then I remain incarcerated for all time, safely kept away from the many innocents who would be harmed should I remain free.” He rested a flaccid, cold hand on my shoulder. “It is a risk I am willing to take.”
“Don’t worry, it’ll all be over before you know it,” said a short brunette with a Karen haircut and a bad case of bitchy resting face. She wore a sweater and jeans ensemble that had soccer mom written all over it, likely as a ruse to make it easier to hunt tourists. Fuck it, time to fry these munchers. “Yes,” I said. “Yes, it will.” I raised both hands high overhead, opening them as I said the trigger word for my sunlight spell. “Solas!” For the span of five seconds, the area was bathed in bright, brilliant sunlight. Some of the vampires were already keen to my tricks, and they managed to zip
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The crack of the nine-millimeter pistol sounded once, twice, three times, and I was rewarded with the sight of two vamps dropping lifeless to the icy surface of the canal. The others managed to reach the water in time, submerging themselves in hopes of extinguishing the phosphorous. The water would eventually smother the stuff, but unless they dug every last speck of it from their wounds, it’d simply ignite again as soon as it dried.
“You’d think Jacques would’ve made the damned thing soundproof,” I observed, tapping a finger on my chin. “Then again, I imagine he’d have wanted to converse with his caretakers during his more lucid moments.” Clara’s brow furrowed as she gave me an incredulous look. “Are you for real? We’re about to be ass-deep in fully-mature vampires who want us both dead, and you’re geek-thinking Germain’s fucking coffin?”
But the craziest thing about his sudden, yet timely, appearance were the hundreds of small stones, larger rocks, and boulders that floated and spun in planetary circuits around him. Each of them orbited the master druid on a separate trajectory, in an absolutely deadly symphony of movement and magic. Some flew as close as a few feet away from him, while others flew in long ellipses dozens of yards away from the epicenter. And where he walked, destruction flowed in his wake. “You son of a bitch,” I said under my breath as a broad grin split my face. “That’s Cathbad’s Planetary Maelstrom.”
“Think, Colin, think!” I snapped my fingers. “That’s it—I’ll take him to Crowley’s with the sarcophagus. Then, I’ll have him send for one of Maeve’s healers on the sly.” I patted Finnegas on the shoulder. “Hang on, old man. I’m going to get you some help.”
Fuck. We’re in fucking Underhill. -Figured it out yet, boy?- The Butcher’s hoarse, rasping voice spoke directly into my mind. -You’ve walked right into a trap.- “Get out of my head, fanger.” -You are my jailer, young druid. Do you think I’ll leave you be, just because you ask? If you want me out of your mind, release me.-
Then I started dancing around like a mad man, spouting gibberish. Well, not gibberish exactly—I was actually quoting the witches’ spells from Macbeth. “Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, witches’ mummy, maw and gulf. Of the ravenous salt-sea shark, root of hemlock dug in the dark.” They wouldn’t understand it, but that wasn’t the idea. The point was to make myself look like an evil, powerful druid who wanted to blast them to smithereens. I continued jumping around, tossing ball lightning, lightning bolt, and fireball spells over their heads. The plan was to do that until their horses were in a
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As I finished the spell, I realized Finnegas had drawn too much power and the strain had been more than he could bear. Meaning, it was my damned fault that he’d stroked out. If only I’d started learning magic years ago, when he first wanted to teach me… Stop. Now was not the time for a guilt-ridden pity party. I’d be hellaciously busy feeling like shit about that later, but right now I needed to deal with these clowns so I could find a way out of Underhill and save his life. Or at the very least, find someone who was sympathetic to our plight and ask them for help. I wasn’t picky on how I
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After spending several minutes unsticking my eyelids, I began to assess the extent of my current fucked-ness. No surprise, I was pretty fucked. I’d been bound tightly hand and foot with leather straps and gagged with a horse’s bit. Based on the taste, it hadn’t been cleaned before it’d been inserted between my teeth. They’d even used thinner straps to bind my fingers which, along with the gag, would prevent me from casting spells. Man, if this day gets any better I’m buying a lottery ticket.
A small thunderclap echoed across the glade where they’d made camp, and the fool was thrown thirty feet across the clearing. He was dazed, but he appeared to be none the worse for the wear, as that was only the first and least harmful defense. If they kept jacking with it, well—the next person who attempted to break it open wouldn’t be so lucky.
“Hey lady, I don’t care if your goons keep me tied up, but that old man over there is Finn Eces the Seer and he needs your help.” At once, she and the tall guy both swung their heads around to look at Finnegas where he lay wrapped in blankets by the fire. She leapt from the saddle, sprinting over to attend the old man. To my relief, it wasn’t long before she was working healing magic on him, and thankfully it looked like she knew what she was doing.