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By learning about the different attachment styles and how they change in different relationships, you can learn how to heal the dynamic between yourself, your partner, and those closest to you.
Numerous studies have shown unequivocal correlations between how someone is parented and the attachment traits that they ultimately express in adulthood. If unhealthy, these attachment styles can be transformed. We can become more secure in ourselves and learn to love and connect in very healthy ways.
Our childhood experiences impact the traits that we express as adults. These impacts are revealed in what we will refer to as attachment styles.
Attachment theory is the study of how childhood experiences with our caregivers affect adulthood relationships. It was jointly developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in the 1960s. Mary Ainsworth was a graduate of the University of Toronto and specialized in security theory, which emphasizes a child’s dependence on their caregiver.
Attachment styles, or the way in which different types of childhood experiences emerge in adulthood, come in four basic forms: 1.Dismissive-Avoidant 2.Fearful-Avoidant 3.Anxious Attachment 4.Secure Attachment
Dismissive-Avoidant Someone with a Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style will: •Generally appear withdrawn •Be highly independent •Be emotionally distant in their relationships •Be less likely to connect on an intimate level •Find it difficult to be highly involved with their partners •Become overwhelmed when they are relied on heavily
•Retreat physically and emotionally as a result Their core beliefs, or the recurring perceptions that replay in their subconscious, will perpetuate a sense of defectiveness and uncertainty in relationships. They essentially believe at an innermost level that they are unsafe around people and that vulnerability always results in pain.
So, why is the Dismissive-Avoidant individual so distant? Adults who are Dismissive-Avoidant typically had parents who were absent from their childhood. This absence can be in the form of physical, emotional, or intellectual abandonment.
