Someone Else's Secret

by Julia Spiro

Thankfully, Lindsey had a high metabolism and burned most everything off through sports that she kept up through college. Weight wasn’t an issue for her, but the curves of her body were. That was a different thing, she’d come to realize after trying crash diets and juice cleanses, which left her ten pounds lighter but no less voluptuous. She wasn’t overweight, but her body, since high school, was shapely in a way that always made her feel older than she was and out of place, noticeable. During her freshman year of high school, Lindsey went from wearing a C cup to a double-D cup. Sometimes she had to wear two sports bras when she played field hockey. The pressure of the two bras often hurt her ribs, but she liked the way it flattened her out. She felt like it was armor against being perceived as slutty or ridiculous or obscene. She hated the way her body made her feel vulgar, no matter what she wore. She grew tired of constantly feeling men’s eyes bulge and hover around her chest.

This all just feels so awkward. Like too contrived.