The Black Flamingo

by Dean Atta

Our PE teacher wears rainbow laces on his soccer cleats. The two things I enjoy about soccer are watching Kieran play, and how our teacher’s laces say to me: “It’s okay to be gay.”

They interrupt our joy. Our history. Our progress.

They fear sharing anything. Our success is a threat.”

Men are sandcastles made out of pebbles and the bucket is patriarchy: if you remove it, we fear we won’t be able to hold ourselves together, we pour in cement to fill the gaps to make ourselves concrete constructions.

“You both need to understand the black woman, black man, black trans person is always last to be thought of as attractive in this white supremacist society. We are all—black and white alike —shown a beauty standard of light skin and ‘good hair,’ maybe big lips, maybe a big bum, but hardly ever on someone with darker skin. When a black person says they’re only into white people, that’s internalized racism. When a white person says they’re only into black people, that’s fetishization, which is also a form of racism.

“He is me, who I have been, who I am, who I hope to become. Someone fabulous, wild, and strong. With or without a costume on.”

makeup doesn’t make your drag work, clothes don’t make your drag work— your attitude and intentions are what make it work. Aesthetic isn’t everything but don’t look a mess . . . unless it’s on purpose. Do everything with purpose.

It’s knowing that doing drag and being trans are not the same. It’s gender nonconforming. It’s gender bending. It’s gender ascending.

It’s a performance. It’s not letting anyone else tell you what your drag means. It’s not really for the audience. It’s for your liberation. It’s knowing that after this nothing will be the same for you. It’s a rebirth. It’s giving birth to yourself. It’s giving yourself a new name. It’s giving yourself a new narrative. It’s not letting anyone forget your name. It’s Marsha P. Johnson smiling down on you. It’s an ancestry. It’s a black queen who threw a brick that built a movement. It’s building yourself up from zero expectations. It’s reviving your history. It’s surviving the present. It’s devising the future. It’s Afrofuturism. It’s Afrocentrism. It’s black, black, blackity-black. It’s batty bwoy, sissy. It’s queer, gay, and faggy. It’s yours and it’s yours. It’s mine. It’s time to step out of the shadows and into the spotlight.

Being both black and queer, affirming that I exist, I am here and I have been here long before this moment, the first people were black and queerness predates its modern meaning. Queerness predates its derogatory meaning. Queerness predates colonialism

You were born to wear those feathers!”

How to Come Out as Gay Don’t. Don’t come out unless you want to. Don’t come out for anyone else’s sake. Don’t come out because you think society expects you to. Come out for yourself. Come out to yourself. Shout, sing it. Softly stutter. Correct those who say they knew before you did. That’s not how sexuality works, it’s yours to define. Being effeminate doesn’t make you gay. Being sensitive doesn’t make you gay. Being gay makes you gay. Be a bit gay, be very gay. Be the glitter that shows up in unexpected places. Be Typing . . . on WhatsApp but leave them waiting. Throw a party for yourself but don’t invite anyone else. Invite everyone to your party but show up late or not at all. If you’re unhappy in the closet but afraid of what’s outside, leave the door ajar and call out. If you’re happy in the closet for the time being, play dress-up until you find the right outfit. Don’t worry, it’s okay to say you’re gay and later exchange it for something else that suits you, fits, feels better. Watch movies that make it seem a little less scary: Beautiful Thing, Moonlight. Be southeast London, a daytime dance floor, his head resting on your shoulder. Be South Beach, Miami, night of water and fire, your head resting on his shoulder. Be the fabric of his shirt the muscles in his shoulder, your shoulder. Be the bricks, be the sand. Be the river, be the ocean. Remember your life is not a movie. Accept you will be coming out for your whole life. Accept advice from people and sources yo...