The Black Flamingo

by Dean Atta

“Don’t let anyone tell you that you are half anything. You and Anna are simply brother and sister.

Don’t let anyone tell you that she’s your half sister. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are half black and half white. Half Cypriot and half Jamaican. You are a full human being. It’s never as simple as being half and half.

I notice when Anna plays with my Turtles, no one asks her why. I notice when Anna wears my overalls, no one comments. I’m glad she is free to play and dress however she feels happy.

Rowan looks like if Ed Sheeran was handsome.

On my own I just look like a white girl with a tan and that suits me just fine, I don’t want to explain myself to people. I’ve seen how you have to do it. How people ask you questions like they have the right to see your family tree. I don’t want that. I just want to be me.”

“There’s always something. No matter how hard you work. No matter how well you do.

I always thought education and money was going to earn me respect, but a successful black man is a threat.

They interrupt our joy. Our history. Our progress. They know they can’t stop us unless they kill us but they can’t kill us all, so you’re living your life and suddenly interrupted by white fear or suspicion. They fear sharing anything. Our success is a threat.”

DRAG stands for Dressed Resembling A Girl.

It happened in theater in original stagings of plays by Shakespeare. Women were not allowed to perform. Young men would play the female roles.

“We don’t have to know each other to show each other love.”

“They feel entitled to touch us just because they were gracious enough to ask.” “That’s just their general entitlement and privilege,” says Lennie.

Men are sandcastles made out of pebbles and the bucket is patriarchy: if you remove it, we fear we won’t be able to hold ourselves together, we pour in cement to fill the gaps to make ourselves concrete constructions.

“You both need to understand the black woman, black man, black trans person is always last to be thought of as attractive in this white supremacist society. We are all—black and white alike —shown a beauty standard of light skin and ‘good hair,’ maybe big lips, maybe a big bum, but hardly ever on someone with darker skin. When a black person says they’re only into white people, that’s internalized racism. When a white person says they’re only into black people, that’s fetishization, which is also a form of racism. If their skin or racialized features matter more to you than the person within, that’s racism.

To have a loving family is to feel afraid and yet believe you are going to be all right.

“So who is The Black Flamingo?” asks Katy, with genuine curiosity. I reply, “He is me, who I have been, who I am, who I hope to become. Someone fabulous, wild, and strong. With or without a costume on.”

Be in control, even if you plan to make it look like chaos. Read the room. Be shady but not bitchy. Don’t punch or kick downward at groups in society with less power or privilege than you.

It’s knowing that doing drag and being trans

are not the same. It’s gender nonconforming. It’s gender bending. It’s gender ascending.

Don’t come out unless you want to. Don’t come out for anyone else’s sake. Don’t come out because you think society expects you to. Come out for yourself. Come out to yourself. Shout, sing it. Softly stutter. Correct those who say they knew before you did. That’s not how sexuality works, it’s yours to define.

Remember you have the right to be proud. Remember you have the right to be you.